My Olympic Experience - Into The Stadium We Go!

After two and a half months of rehearsals we were ready to ramp things up. It was time to move to the Olympic Stadium. 

I was so excited and could already imagine how incredible it would feel the first time we viewed the field of dreams (AKA the pitch). Unfortunately for me on the day of the first stadium rehearsal I was ill and could not make it. I was gutted!

I heard from all my Olympic friends how great it was to finally be in the stadium…but also how it had rained for 2 hours and everyone was soaked! This was something that would be a reoccurring theme throughout our rehearsals (to the point where people were joking if it didn’t rain on the night we would have no idea how to dance on a dry stage!)

The next week I was due to make my first appearance in the stadium but very sadly my nan died. All my family were abroad so it was vital for me to be at home to take care of things. I will always be sad that my nan never got to see me perform in the opening ceremony, but as a lot of people have said she in fact had the best seat in the house.

After juggling everything I was unsure if I would be able to continue on because I didn’t know how many rehearsals I may need to miss (there was a rule – two missed rehearsal and you were a reserve / out). But I was determined that after everything I had been through this year, everything I had fought through there was no way I was going to miss out on performing.

I do have to say that this tragic experience is really the only thing that slightly damped my Olympic experience. I had contacted  the organisers about my circumstances as soon as I knew I needed to go home because I was worried about my attendance and the outcome. (I knew I would miss at least 3 rehearsals at this point). When I eventually received a reply it was unsympathetic and disrespectful and I was fuming at the response. I don’t want to go into detail but it left a very sour taste in my mouth.

Luckily I didn’t need to have any further contact with this particular person and I have to say that out of the thousands of people involved in the organising and running of the opening ceremony there was only ever this one person who I had a grievance with. Everyone else was so very friendly, enthusiastic and helpful – no matter how busy or under pressure they were. And I think that is testament to the Olympic spirit that everyone involved in the games has.

The next week I finally got my first glimpse of the stadium. Seeing the stadium for the first time was incredible. A real goosebump moment. I couldn’t believe in a few weeks we would be performing to 80,000. 

Once we started rehearsing in the stadium it was more important to learn our positions, transitions and entrances and exits. This meant there was a lot of waiting around, but when there are 1400 people to move that is inevitable!

This was also when we started practicing our entrance and exit . I would be entering on a human made tube train (so terribly iconic of London it was brilliant! Although we had joked that to make it authentic we should hold some sort of strike or delay on our way around the track – also known as the M25). Gosh! From where my tube entered the stadium to where we got onto stage was almost a 400m run. Well that was a shock to the system! And running around a 400m track, whilst holding onto the shoulder of the person in front of you, and for some of my friends whilst carrying a LCD tube to represent the train, was no easy feat! This is something that took a long time for us to get into a workable rhythm. I think this was probably the moment we were worried about most. But after sitting out to watch a rehearsal a few sessions later from the seats it didn’t look half as bad as we all felt it did (which was very reassuring!).

As I mentioned before once we reached the stadium for rehearsal was when the dread rain curse reared its ugly head. We had been lucky at Dagenham – there was only one session that had to be moved indoors because of pouring rain. But from now on that was not an option as we needed to be prepared for the possibility, and let’s be honest the probability, that it may rain on show day. I think it rained at nearly every rehearsal we had. The stage would become slick, making it hard to dance or run without slipping, and there were a few casualties. But eventually we were so used to this I think we were prepared for all eventualities the British weather may have throw at us come the 27^th July!

As the stadium rehearsals were a lot longer than the previous rehearsals we also were given food packs. You may think this is a very mundane entity to write about but the meal packs were to become such a talking point amongst the volunteers I could not edit them out! At first people were excited – we had something new at our rehearsals. The meal packs consisted of a bread-heavy, filling-light sandwich (AKA brick), plus some Pringles, a Nature Valley cereal bar and an apple. For every meal.  At every rehearsal. For three weeks. I swear if I see another Nature Valley cereal bar I will not be held accountable for my actions! I managed to accumulate quite a collection at the bottom of my bag!

Ironically the press have now started referring to the velodrome as 'The Pringle'. How it pains me to hear those words! (But to be fair they do have a point).

A week before the show we were informed that the ceremony was running 20 minutes over so 2 minutes needed to be taken from each section of the show. This did cause a frisson of panic as we were seven days from performing but luckily the changes to my section were minimal. I did feel bad for the NOW section as theirs was the most affected. There was one song that was shortened (‘Random Antics’ or as we all knew it as Rah Rah East London Madness!) that everyone was sad about! But when you look at the facts it was either two minutes from each section be or a whole section would be removed from the show. I am sure everyone would be more than happy for the former option when they look at it like that.

Unfortunately there was one section that had to be cut completely – a stunt bike team. Everyone was saying how devastated they were for these performers. To have rehearsed for so long and then not be in the ceremony is such a tragedy. But I hope that they know that everyone was sad for them and really respects all they had achieved thus far. 

The other great thing about stadium rehearsals were starting to see the lighting and effects that would be used during our section. Every rehearsal we would find out a little more and it would blow my mind every time! When it was casually mentioned that we would have fire jets during 'Firestarter' I think I nearly exploded with excitement! I would get to perform with pyrotechnics!!! How incredible is that?!

One of the moments that choked me up was the ending. I was lucky enough to finish standing on Glastonbury Tor looking out over the whole stadium. This is the only moment during our performance that you could really soak everything in. With Emile Sande's 'Heaven' playing, the house which is a central point to our performance would lift into the sky to reveal Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the British inventor of the World Wide Web. This is a man who revolutionised our lives and turned down making profit, instead deciding to make it free for everyone. As the house lifts up a message shoots across the seats saying 'This is for everyone'. The first time I saw this it made me emotional but it is a moment I will never forget. 

Once we had moved to the stadium everything had kicked up a gear and time seemed to be slipping through our fingers. Once we had practiced our tube trains, our ending, our transitions and practiced with lighting and effects the next stage were dress rehearsals. To 60,000 people...

 I would like to take time to thank Kenrick Sandy, Skytilz and all the dance captains. 

It was a huge undertaking to take people with such a vast range of abilities and try to train them to a performance standard. It would have been so easy to just two-step and sway your arms a bit and express that these people were volunteers and that explains the simplicity. But the fact that Kenrick and his team were willing to push for a higher standard and have faith in the volunteers is commendable. The fact that the dance captains always taught with a smile and spoke with kind words, always encouraging and not scalding us when they would have been under immense pressure it quite a feat. I have so much respect and love for these guys . Thank you for thinking big, being totally inspiring, nurturing us and helping us realise our dreams at the personal sacrifice of your time, I am sure huge amounts of stress and pressure. You helped us achieve the goal of putting on a great show and made a beautiful moment in everyone of our lives that we will forever treasure.

My Olympic Experience - The Rehearsals

Week two of our Olympic rehearsals and we were back at 3 Mills studios in Bromley-By-Bow.  This week we started to learn our actual choreography (the week before had just been to get us used to the style of the hip hop moves we would be learning, as this is something that was new to a lot of us – me included). I was nervous about how my body would cope as I was still recovering from my operation and visiting the nurse daily, but this week was a lot easier on me. In fact I think the rehearsals helped my body kick start getting back to normal. I was in a bit of pain and stiff for a few days afterwards but slowly but surely I was getting my groove back!

This was also the week that we got to meet our dance captain, the amazing Skytilz! I remember for weeks afterwards the first thing the volunteers would say to each other was ‘how awesome is Skytilz?!’ Everyone loved her, she made every rehearsal a lot of fun, broke every move down so we all understood and made a lot of jokes! I have to say the dance captains have really made the experience for me. All of them are incredible talented but so down to earth and approachable. I don’t think we could have been taught by better people. (Shout out to all our dance captains especially Nads, Nathaniel, Duwane, Theo and Rhimes!!)

My section was the 80’s and 90’s. I remember we didn’t know which songs we would be dancing to. Only after we had learnt some moves and eventually tried them to music did we find out what tracks they were to. This made our time at 3 Mills always exciting because you never knew what was coming next! It took about three weeks before we knew all the songs we would be dancing too and I loved the choices.

I thoroughly enjoyed learning a completely new dance style – and loved that most of the moves had names (this was a godsend when trying to remember routines!). With names like the Roger Rabbit and Steve Martin they were impossible to forget. Every Sunday was a five hour solid rehearsal of dancing and although tiring I always left with a smile on my face and counting down the time till the next rehearsal.

At our first rehearsal at 3 Mills we got to meet the main man, Kenrick 'H2O' Sandy, who was choreographing the whole Thanks Tim section. Kenrick is a huge name in the hip hop dance scene. He helped choreograph the ‘Streetdance’ films, he co-owns an Olivier award winning dance company called Boy Blue Entertainment and has been a judge on the dance show ‘Street Dance Stars’. We were working with the best of the best. Plus all of our dance captains are members of Boy Blue Entertainment. (Check them out in the video below)

Kenrick told us that our section was going to be the most hardcore and energetic out of the whole piece. He wasn’t lying! As he said ‘you can’t be two-stepping to no Firestarter’! Even though our rehearsals were early on Sundays morning we needed to bring energy. I can’t think of anything better to give you a rush on a Sunday morning than dancing, especially in preparation for the opening ceremony.

During our second week we also got taken to try our costumes on. I couldn’t believe we got to try them on so soon and it was awesome seeing everyone in their neon clothes and smiley face t-shirts! It really was a flashback and I can clearly remember people wearing my costume to raves in the 90’s.

I was pleasantly surprised that Danny Boyle attended every rehearsal. He was always there with an encouraging speech, a handheld camera and a look of excitement. Whenever we were waiting he would always make a point of speaking to us individually.

The thing that has always stood out to me is Danny Boyle’s enthusiasm for the volunteers. Realistically it is a huge risk to take 10,000 people, some of whom have plenty of experience and some who have never performed in their life, and use them to create a show, not just any show but one that is presented on the global stage. His reputation would be on the line. But not once did I ever get the impression Danny Boyle was worried about this. In fact I don’t think he even thought of any other option. He seemed to have his heart set on normal people representing their country. What a wonderful attitude. I have never seen such enthusiasm for a project or the people involved. We all came into this being overwhelmed that we would be part of Danny Boyle’s show. But Danny repeated told us this was our show. 

The 3 Mills rehearsals were purely about learning the choreography. Once we graduated from there we would start to transform what we had learnt into a show. After five weeks at 3 Mills we moved onto the old Ford plant car park in Dagenham, officially known as 1:1. This meant a two hour commute for me, from one side of London to the other. Although this meant waking at 5.30am on Sunday mornings I always woke up excited and bounded along to rehearsals like an excitable puppy.

This outdoor space had two full scale replicas of the Olympic stadium, both fields of play separated by a giant circus tent.  This would be when we would learn our coordinates and the transitions we would make around the stage during our performance.

The most exciting element about Dagenham was that each week our rehearsals got bigger and bigger as we were joined by more and more groups from our section. We started out week one as all 400 of the 80’s and 90’s dancer. We were then joined by the Now’s, making it 700 people. A few weeks after that all 1400 dancers came together. It was our first glimpse at the other sections and it finally felt like we were working towards a show rather than having a lot of fun in a massive outdoor dance class.

As well as cleaning choreography we also needed to learn funnelling (something I found difficult not to turn into a race as I am naturally competitive but would come hugely in handy when trying to get 1400 people into a tube station after rehearsals) and huge amounts of blocking. Although very time consuming the mass team, lead by the amazing Gina Chan Martinez,who were responsible in getting all 1400 of us into the correct places, always completely their tasks speedily. It is incredible what they do when you think about the scale of it. And this wasn’t just getting people into lines. This involved getting people into complex shape, like our awesome 90’s smiley face, which would be the formation my section started in.

Dagenham was also the place where we got to see more of the man who was choreographing the whole 'Thanks Tim' section, Kenrick Sandy.  Kenrick would often start and end the day with motivational, and hilarious, speeches that equally made us passionate about our performance but eager to get it right. Kenrick made sure we were under no illusion that we could just roll up and give a half ass performance. Although we would be working our usual jobs in the week at the weekend at rehearsals we would be expected to act like professional dancers, which meant paying attention and pushing ourselves to make the moves look as best as we possibly could.

What really help was having the awesome dance captains and Kenrick walking through us and if we looked to be having trouble they would always help us in a way that motivated us instead of making us stand out as ‘the one who is getting it wrong’. There was a definite sense of we are all in this together and working for the same goal. There was no ‘them’ and ‘us’. This gave us an environment where we all felt comfortable and didn’t need to feel like we would look silly if we needed to ask for help.  And if you were too nervous to ask the dance captains were always there watching and giving friendly tips when needed.

The first ten weeks of rehearsal were all about getting us ready to move into the stadium. By then we had learnt our choreography, learnt our transitions and learnt our coordinates of where to stand on stage. Now it was time to take things to the next level. Now it was time to graduate to the Olympic stadium...

My Olympic Experience - The Auditions

This is the image that will stick with me for the rest of my life. My brain still can’t quite full comprehend that just next to one of those flames I am stood, performing to billions of people across the world in the London 2012 Olympic Opening ceremony.

The journey started almost a year ago when I saw an advert on Twitter (how terribly modern) for auditions for dancers for the Olympic Opening ceremony. I took a curious glance to see what the criteria was and to my surprise no experience was necessary. I didn’t think this could be right! But I thought nothing ventured, nothing gained so I applied. Having up until this point only taken Michael Jackson style dance classes (which to be fair come in handy on a night out!) I doubted I would even get through the application process.

About a month later, whilst on a family holiday in Florida, I received an invitation to attend an audition. I couldn't quite believe it! Surely I had managed to stealthy get through the process and at some point they would realise their mistake! I remember telling my mum I had an audition for the Olympics and she looked baffled. I hadn’t mentioned to anyone I had applied and I think she thought I meant as an athlete! (And that would be fooling no one!). Even just receiving an invitation to audition was enough to start the buzz around the possibility I may be involved in some capacity in the world’s largest sporting event .

When my audition date arrived I headed to 3 Mills Studios in Bromley-By-Bow and I was nervous. I had never auditioned before in my life and was sure I would be the person with the least experience there. I was certain I was about to step onto the set of ‘Fame’ and although I had sneaked through the application process I would suddenly be outed as an infiltrator.

In fact the audition process was brilliant! I had a fantastic day meeting such enthusiastic people who were just as nervous and shocked to be there as I was. We were inspired by videos of previous ceremonies and regaled tales of people’s memories of previous ceremonies. The range of people was so diverse it was inspiring. People of all ages and walks of life were taking a shot to be involved in the biggest show London would ever put on.  We ran around in a giant game of battleship, danced to Beyonce (it was a sign!!) and acted our way through a scene involving vigorous teeth brushing and Oyster Card swiping.

I left on a high. I was sure I may not get through but just to be able to say I auditioned for the Olympics was enough.

The next day I received an email saying I had been successful and was invited to attend a role specific audition. Surely this wasn’t real? I was so excited! And curious as to what the role may be. I was hoping for dance (as this is my passion) but terrified that if I was against actual dancers, people who had danced their whole lives, performed in shows and took regular classes, that there was no way I would get in.

Three weeks later when I arrived once more at 3 Mills everyone was wearing sweats. This was a good sign! It was almost certainly a dance audition. But then the fear returned. What would be in store? I now realised I wanted to be involved more than I thought and didn’t want this to be the end of the road.

Once the audition started I relaxed – in fact you couldn’t do anything other than enjoy! It was hours of dancing fun and the buzz was brilliant. At the end when we danced to ‘Moves Like Jagger’ everyone, even the paramedics, were dancing! It was an infectious jubilant mood! Once more I left on a high, happy to have been given the opportunity to be invited to audition.

We then had a nervous 8 week wait to know whether we were in or not. I had a friend who had also auditioned and whenever an email was sent she would receive hers around  8 hours before I received mine. I always took this as a sign of not being ‘in’.

On the 13^th January around 8PM I received the email. ‘Congratulations! London 2012 Ceremonies are pleased to inform you that you have been successful in your audition to become a Ceremonies Volunteer Performer in the London 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony’. I couldn’t believe it! I was going to be in the opening ceremony of the Olympics! I cried with joy. Whoever thought someone with no experience would be given the opportunity to represent their country and perform on the world’s biggest stage?

Rehearsals started in April. I was so excited to get going. Unfortunately for me three weeks before our first rehearsal I had to have an emergency operation of my back. This lead to me having a section of my back removed and needing to see a nurse every day for 6 weeks. I was told I may have to accept defeat and pull out of the show. I was flabbergasted. At no point had I ever contemplated I may not be able to take part.

Three weeks later and it was the first rehearsal. The operation was more serious than I thought and this was the first time I had been properly out of my house and moving since my operation. It seemed impossible that I would be able to dance but I was determined I would not let this opportunity slip through my fingers.

Once more I returned to 3 Mills, which would be our home for the next five Sunday’s. We received our Olympic accreditation (well actually I didn’t. My photo was never right and I spent the first 4 weeks having my photo taken!). It felt real all of a sudden. I mean I had a BADGE!

We sat in one of the sound stages and all of us nervously but excitedly spoke with our fellow volunteers about how we couldn’t believe we were here! Then Steve Boyd – the softly spoke but ever so enthusiastic American who guided us through our auditions – introduced Danny Boyle. The Danny Boyle. I was so excited! I was sure other people would lead our section and Danny would direct from afar. But this was our first opportunity to see just how hands on, and how down to earth, Danny was.

When Danny explained our section I was overjoyed. The concept sounded fantastic! A blend of the best of British pop music combined with a thank you to Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the British inventor of the World Wide Web and the man responsible for how we live in the modern technological age.  We were then shown a storyboarded video of our segment. I can’t lie, I choked up a bit when I realised just how proud this segment made me feel to be British. I could not wait to start learning the choreography. Plus my segment was the 80’s and 90’s – totally music I grew up with!

Danny then took smaller groups to look at a scale model of the stadium. It was huge! I couldn’t believe we would be performing in such a huge arena, the OLYMPIC arena at that.

Then we split into two groups and moved into another sound stage. The first rehearsal was hard. Nearly 4 hours of constant dancing. I was in agony. We were lined up, drilled with choreography and then performed two rows at a time. There was a feeling of at any moment if you messed up you would be kicked out. The team reassured us that we were through so we could relax but everybody was on edge.  I felt gutted. I knew I was underperforming but the fact I was even moving was a feat unto itself! At the very end I spoke to mass movement to let them know of my situation. I was told it was OK for me to sit out the last two runs of choreography but the message was passed onto my cast coordinator. I was asked if this was a reoccurring problem and couldn’t help feel like I possibly may be relegated to an understudy position or moved to a space where I may not really be visible.

At the end I was ready to lie down and rest. I felt a mix of emotions. Such excitement of being in on the secret, enthusiastic to keep learning more choreography but also worried that maybe my body was not ready...

War Horse - Simply spectacular theatre

After years of wanting to see War Horse after its transfer to the West End last night I finally got the chance. And it well worth the wait. War Horse is spectacular. The staging is stunning, the puppetry masterful. The story is beautiful and moving. It is simply incredible theatre.

War Horse tells the story of 16 year old Albert Narracott who raises a quite special horse called Joey on his family’s Devon farm. After the breakout of war Joey is sent to fight in France and experiences the atrocities of WWI. Distraught by Joey’s drafting Albert signs up to fight in the hope of being reunited with his horse.

War Horse educates about the Great War from an interesting, and equine, perspective, but also shows the horrors of war in a very human way. This is achieved not only in the spectacular sets but also through the brilliant acting and beautiful music.

The cast was brilliant. War Horse has quite a large cast and this enable the show to have an epic feel to it. Some shows can be hard to get lost in as you are very aware you are in a theatre or that there is a lacking in cast due to budgeting. War Horse escapes this and the story is made richer by the scale of the production.  

War Horse has a very strong cast and I felt in particular Alex Avery (Captain Nicholls), Jack Holden (Albert Narracott) and Richard Cant (Friedrich Muller) were fantastic.

What I thought was amazing about War Horse was not only the talents of the actors but also the skills of the puppeteers. The puppetry is masterful. During the show I totally forgot the horses were animated by people (albeit absolutely incredible actors and puppeteers – they get every reaction, and noise, spot on. Such, such talented performers).  I have never seen anything like it and to see life-sized horses that act exactly like horses on a stage was incredible.

I was also impressed at how a goose could become the comedy star of a show!

War Horse is brilliantly narrated by folk songs (performed by the excellent Bob Fox www.bobfoxmusic.com). This is a genius touch as it not only relates the story back to Albert’s Devon home but also brings a sentiment and feeling that I don’t think could have been achieved in any other or a more fitting way.

The staging of War Horse is quite simple but utterly magnificent. A few props aided with spectacular lighting really create incredible scenes. The use of ‘slo-motion’ during the show was brilliant. This really is a show where creativity, craft and exceptional talent come together across all aspects of the production.

I must say that the layout of the New London Theatre was great and all seats seemed to give a great view. We had seats in the front row and it really allowed us to get immersed in the show.  If you sit in the front section the actors move about through the audience so it is well worth trying to get seats here if you want to feel involved in the action.

But also remember to bring tissues! You won’t be able to stop yourself wholly embracing the story so be prepared to have your heartstrings tugged.

I cannot recommend enough that people see War Horse. It is unlike anything else on in the West End and is a truly unforgettable night.  War Horse has received much critical acclaim and many accolades including awards for direction, stage design, choreography and most recently Best West End Show at the Whatsonstage awards.

War Horse can be seen at the New London Theatre in Drury Lane (http://warhorselondon.nationaltheatre.org.uk/). War Horse is based on the novel by Michael Monpurgo.

People vs. Conrad Murray - Sentencing

Sentencing hearing

After serving 24 days in prison since his conviction, today was the day Conrad Murray was to discover what his sentence would be.

Before presenting their statements both the defence and the prosecution highlighted issues to the judge.

Firstly the defence asked Judge Pastor to not allow any cameras in the hearing today. They stated this was to protect Conrad Murray’s privacy. Judge Pastor pointed out that seeing as Conrad Murray participated in a documentary about the trial he doesn’t seem that worried about privacy.

The prosecution then wanted to highlight two case laws to the judge about making involuntary manslaughter a serious felony. This is because on the 1^st October, during the trial, a new law was passed in California in regards to overcrowding in prisons. This law, called the Realignment Statute, states that unless involuntary manslaughter is treated as a serious felony then Conrad Murray would be sent to county jail instead of state prison. Judge Pastor stated he did not believe the cases the People presented had any impact the Realignment Statute. Therefore if Conrad Murray receives a prison sentence this would be served in a county jail.

Jackson family statement

Brian Panish, a Jackson family representative, then read a statement on behalf of Michael Jackson’s family. It read there is “no way to adequately describe the loss of a beloved father, son, brother and friend”. Michael Jackson’s children stated ‘we will grow up “without a father, our best friend, our playmate and friend”’. The family hope that this will be a reminder to physicians that they cannot sell their services to the highest bidder. They stated that the Bible states that “man cannot do justice. Man can only seek justice”. Justice is what they seek.

The People

David Walgren then addressed Judge Pastor with the People’s statement. Walgren stated that in April 2009 Conrad Murray ordered large quantities of drugs, including Propofol. For two months Conrad Murray administered Propofol every night to Michael Jackson before he killed him. On the 25^th June 2009 Michael Jackson was left alone and abandoned by the person to whom he entrusted his life: Dr Murray.

It is not just the actions that lead to Jackson dying that need to be considered, it is Murray’s actions afterwards. Murray cleaned up the scene, he lied to paramedics and ER doctors and he didn’t tell the truth in his police statement.

Conrad Murray looked out for himself and not Michael Jackson. Conrad Murray looked out for himself and not the family of Michael Jackson. This continued past Michael Jackson’s death at UCLA hospital. Conrad Murray then lied to Mrs Jackson about not knowing what had happened to her son.

Walgren stated the defence want a probation sentence. Walgren askes there be a denial of this. After the verdict was read Your Honour stated that this is a crime that involves homicide. This needs to be taken into account when sentencing.

Another factor that needs to be considered is the vulnerability of victim. Michael Jackson was vulnerable. This vulnerability was created by Conrad Murray. Michael Jackson expected Conrad Murray to be at his side monitoring him. Michael Jackson had put his life in hands of Conrad Murray. Michael Jackson was not just vulnerable at the moment he was under the influence of the drugs. The vulnerability was exacerbated over the two months that Murray treated him. Jackson was most vulnerable when Conrad Murray left him alone to die. Conrad Murray was conducting a pharmaceutical experiment on Michael Jackson.

Infliction of physical injury is another consideration. Propofol was in the home due to Conrad Murray. The lack of monitoring and lifesaving equipment was due to Conrad Murray. The abandonment of Michael Jackson was directly due to Conrad Murray.

The planning and sophistication of the act is another factor. Although Jackson’s death was not deliberate there is gross negligence in the planning. Conrad Murray had kept medical records before for Jackson but when it came to the two months of Propofol treatments Murray didn’t keep any records because he knew what he doing was wrong and could risk the life of Michael Jackson.

Walgren asked Judge Pastor to consider trust. During the trial we had heard about the special relationship between a doctor and a patient based on trust. This relationship was corrupted by Conrad Murray. This was destroyed by Conrad Murray. Michael Jackson trusted he would be cared for and monitored by Conrad Murray so he could wake to see another day and be with

his children for another day.

The People argue strongly against probation. Prison is warranted. The People ask Conrad Murray be sentenced to 4 years in state prison.

Walgren went on to say the defendant was playing Russian roulette with Michael Jackson’s life every single night. It is needed to look at all the evidence leading up to the crime. Murray ordered shipments of Propofol as soon as he got the job. Murray stated he only discovered that Jackson was addicted to Propofol after he started. These large shipments prove contrary.

Walgren then highlighted once more Conrad Murray's behaviour after he had discovered Jackson not breathing. He didn't react like any other doctor would,  he didn't call for help. There was a 20 minute delay and then Murray told lies thereafter. It was not until two days after Jackson had died that Dr Murray ever mentioned Propofol.

Walgren told the court that the threat of great bodily harm was clear from the evidence. Murray repeatedly administered Propofol without appropriate equipment. Instead of being focused on Michael Jackson, Conrad Murray was focused on social calls. Michael Jackson was abandoned by Conrad Murray. Whilst Jackson was under the influence of Propofol Murray thought it was appropriate to phone his girlfriend.

Restitution

The People then requested monetary amounts to cover the costs for the burial and funeral of Michael Jackson. Remuneration is also sought for the loss of earnings. This is an enormous sum because it was Michael Jackson and a huge comeback tour. Michael Jackson would have earned $100,000,000 from the ‘This Is It’ residency and this money would have benefitted his children.

The People are under no illusion that Conrad Murray can pay this but the family are entitled to this restitution. This is a conservative amount. The sum is based purely on a 10 month, 50 date show.  Jackson may have gone on to do more tours and other such things.

The documentary

Walgren then asks Judge Pastor to take into account how Conrad Murray acted after the crime.

The judge needs to consider lack of remorse and responsibility from Conrad Murray. Walgren asks Judge Pastor not to look at the words the defence use but instead look at Conrad Murray’s words from the documentary. 9 days before verdict was read Conrad Murray was asked if he bears any guilty or responsibility. Conrad Murray said ‘I don’t feel guilty because I did not do anything wrong’. Conrad Murray chose not to testify but he chose to make this statement.

Weeks into the trial and years into the case Conrad Murray believes he is not guilty. This deserves a prison sentence.

Mrs Jackson’s statement

Walgren then referred to a statement by Mrs Jackson, Michael’s mother. In her statement she says all the family feel angry and betrayed by Conrad Murray. All the family think about Michael daily. Every morning he is the first thing she thinks about.

Michael Jackson was his children’s world and their world collapsed when he left. When at the hospital after Michael was pronounced dead Paris, Michael’s daughter,  was crying and stated ”I want to go with you” (referring to her father).

Mrs Jackson is angry that on the first anniversary of Michael’s death Conrad Murray got a camera crew to accompany him to Michael’s grave to show himself in a favourable light to the public.

Conrad Murray failed Michael Jackson and her family. Mrs Jackson wants him to receive the maximum sentence.

The People then concluded their statement.

Realignment statute

Judge Pastor then stated that the People have asked for 4 years in state prison. The judge then asked if under the new law they can send Murray to prison. Walgren says Murray would not be held in a state prison but in a county prison or however the court decides.

Judge Pastor then told the People that the court has no discretion in this sentence.

Judge Pastor then asked the People for itemisation of the funeral costs. The People did not have this information at this time.

Defence’s statement

The defence were then able to present their statement. Judge Pastor reminded the defence that Conrad Murray had the right to speak. Chernoff stated he spoke to Conrad Murray for two hours the day before and Conrad Murray did not wish to speak.

The defence stated they would be brief. They had given a detailed report and lots of personal statements to the judge prior for him to read.

Chernoff started by saying he believes the loss of Michael Jackson deserves a punishment. No one is denying that Conrad Murray shouldn’t have done what he did.

Chernoff stated when discussing vulnerability we need to remember that Michael Jackson was a drug seeker. He sought drugs from Conrad Murray, who was wrong to give them to him. He also sought it out from other doctors. He was a powerful, famous, wealthy individual. He had many security personnel and advisors. But he may have still been vulnerable.

Chernoff stated that the defence assume the judge wants to give a jail sentence, going from what the judge said when discussing probation after the verdict. Chernoff highlighted that Conrad Murray now resides in 5 foot by 8 foot cell and is shackled everywhere he goes. Conrad Murray is not a danger to the community. In the 56 years before working with Jackson, Conrad Murray never committed a crime. Instead he raised a family. Chernoff states he understands the tragedy of Michael Jackson’s kids, but what about Conrad Murray’s kids?

But to what extent does the court look at a book of someone’s life rather than a chapter?  Chernoff then told the court Murray life story. He grew up in a poor family in Grenada. He never knew his father. His community did not have electricity until he was 10 years old. But against all the odds he came to America to study. He put himself through medical school

Conrad Murray’s life was as a doctor but that is all gone now. It is his fault but it is a punishment. No matter what he does he is now forever known as the man who killed Michael Jackson.

What about Conrad Murray’s life before the 2 months he worked with Jackson? During the trial you heard from five of Dr Murray’s patients. He helped poor people. He took medicine to the Caribbean. This should all matter and be taken into account when sentencing.

Putting Conrad Murray in prison is a measure of vengeance but when this has faded he is someone else’s problem. On probation he can do things for the community that he can’t do in prison. Probation is best for the community.

Chernoff then concluded his statement.

Restitution

Judge Pastor then asked the defence about the restitution. Chernoff told Judge Pastor that the figure is so high he doesn’t know what to say. Even if Conrad Murray finds work after he has served his sentence he will never be able to pay $100,000,000.

Chernoff also stated the defence need to see receipts to know about amounts.

Judge Pastor

Judge Pastor then addressed the court. He stated the most difficult thing about being a judge is giving a just sentence. It is more difficult when it comes down to the judge’s digression. This is a significant responsibility.

Neither party says Conrad Murray acted intentionally. So the court has to use sense of fairness, decency and experience to give an appropriate sentence. Some people think Conrad Murray is a saint. Some people think he is the devil. He is neither. He is a human being. He is convicted of the death of another human being. He was convicted of criminal negligence. The court needs to take this into account. 12 jurors unanimously voted Conrad Murray was guilty. Some people may feel this was medical malpractice. But in fact this was a homicide case.

Criminal negligence involves more than ordinary carelessness or a mistake in judgement. A person acts with criminal negligence when they perform in a reckless way which creates a high risk of death or injury. A reasonable person would know this would create a risk.

A person acts with criminal negligence when the way they act is so different to the way an ordinary, careful person would act in that situation that their actions leads to a result of indifference to human life or the consequences of the act.

It is important not be to caviller and state that if it wasn’t Conrad Murray doing this then someone else would. Judge Pastor disassociates himself from those types of statements. This is not a question about what might have happened or what if someone else was involved. This was an insult to the medical profession. Michael Jackson died because of the actions of, and failures to perform legal duties of, Conrad Murray.

Judge Pastor accepted Chernoff’s invitation to read the book he gave about Conrad Murray and Judge Pastor had read it. He was impressed by the submissions from family, friends and associates. He had also read the book of Michael Jackson’s life. Regrettably the most significant chapter for Conrad Murray is his treatment, or lack of, of Michael Jackson.

This wasn’t a one off occurrence. This was a totality of circumstances that are attributed to Conrad Murray. This was not a mistake or an accident but because of a series of decisions Conrad Murray made that jeopardised his patient and violated his obligations to his patient. Those violations overcome the treatment of other patients.

Conrad Murray created a set of circumstances and became involved in a cycle of horrible medicine. The practise of “money for medicine madness” violated Murray’s sworn obligation for money, fame and prestige. It is important to not look to one isolated incident in terms of misdeeds or deeds of Conrad Murray. In this case Murray engaged in a recurring pattern of deceit, lies and regrettably that pattern was to assist Conrad Murray.

It is almost inconceivable that Conrad Murray would have persisted in this pattern over an extensive period of time. His lies and deceit were heard over the six weeks of testimonies. He lied from the inception of ordering Propofol in staggering quantities. He lied to the pharmacy. He lied and deceived those associated with MJ: his members of staff and production team, AEG. He continued lying to Jackson’s security personnel and staff at a critical point in time. He told unconscionable lies to health care providers, life savers - paramedics and ER doctors. This was not designed to help the patient. This was designed to give Conrad Murray a way out. Murray also tried to subvert the process by trying to destroy evidence. He deceived and lied to law enforcement in his police interview.

If you look to involuntary manslaughter in a vacuum you can think it is something that went wrong and is tragic. It is important not to have a gut reaction to what happened and look at the totality of the case. This was a failure of character of Conrad Murray to serve his patient. When you look at this you can’t help but be offended by the circumstances in this case.

Audio recording

Of everything Judge Pastor heard and saw in trial one aspect stood out; the surreptitious recording of Michael Jackson by his trusted doctor. Judge Pastor has asked himself why did this happen and for what reason? You could try to surmise there might have been some justifiable reason, a benefit to Jackson. This would be an unreasonable conclusion. Judge Pastor stated that recording was Conrad Murray’s insurance policy. He deliberately recorded his patient at his most vulnerable point. We can’t imagine this happening to any of us because it is a violation of trust.

Judge Pastor wonders that if there were to be a conflict between Michael Jackson and Conrad Murray at a later point in time what value would be placed on that tape recording if the choice were to release the recording to a media outlet to use against Jackson?

Regrettably that failure of character was compounded by later actions by Conrad Murray, each of which was a betrayal of trust and a violation of the doctor / patient relationship. These actions undermine the role that health care personnel perform. We revere doctors and we should. Dr Murray may have been a good doctor but at some point things went wrong for Conrad Murray. When he had an opportunity to decline this treatment he didn’t get out. He got deeper and deeper in and betrayed his oath.

Judge Pastor looked at the totality of Conrad Murray’s life but was disturbed by the chapter he had been discussing. He is disturbed when Conrad Murray says he doesn’t feel guilty. Chernoff acknowledges there is fault in Murray’s actions, but you are not hearing this from Conrad Murray. You didn’t hear this when he talked to paramedics, or the police or in the documentary. In fact Conrad Murray says he was betrayed and entrapped by Michael Jackson. Judge Pastor stated “yikes! Talk about blaming the victim!”

Pastor continued by saying Conrad Murray showed no indication of any involvement in this case. He says he was a bystander and was put in this situation by everyone else’s actions.  These factors cause Judge Pastor tremendous concern. If there is recognition of responsibility and remorse you may consider probation. But why give probation to someone who is offended at why they are even before the court. There cannot be probation if there is no hope of rehabilitation.

Judge Pastor told the court that he had looked for efforts to see if Dr Murray was suitable for probation as he is eligible for probation. Judge Pastor couldn’t find any. The court declines probation in this case.

Judge Pastor acknowledged that Conrad Murray had provided services to the community and helped many people. But he also violated the trust of Michael Jackson on a nightly basis. Michael Jackson as a patient was vulnerable because Conrad Murray put him a situation where Conrad Murray was responsible for Michael’s life.

Conrad Murray obtained Propofol through insidious means. He lied to the pharmacist. He didn’t keep medical records. He allowed his personal life to interfere with his professional responsibilities. He lied to AEG, Kenny Ortega and the insurance carrier. He engaged in a personal matter when he should be paying attention to his patient.

An objective view is that Dr Murray abandoned his patient. This was not a one off occurrence. This was an egregious violation of standard of care. He is a disgrace to the profession. We are not talking about a mistake. His actions were a gross continuing deviation. For those factors the court determines Conrad Murray is not going to have probation

Sentencing

Judge Pastor continued by saying the court has many options of what the sentence could be. This court does not have the authority to send him to state prison. Judge Pastor will follow the law in that regard. The Realignment Act states certain sentences, although felonies do not need to be completed in a state prison.

Judge Pastor stated he can give Conrad Murray a sentence of 2, 3, or 4 years for the charge of involuntary manslaughter. The court has determined a sentence of 4 years imprisonment. Conrad Murray showed negligence to his patient, he repeatedly lied, he tried to cover up his actions, he violated the trust of his patient and the medical community and he has no sense of remorse. He is and remains dangerous.

Judge Pastor cannot decide what happens to Dr Murray’s medical licence but he would like it to be known that he believes Conrad Murray is a danger to the community.

Judge Pastor then told the court there is a fundamental aspect of this punishment. It should be made clear that experimental medicine will not be tolerated. Michael Jackson was an experiment. Although he agreed to it, it makes no difference. Conrad Murray should have walked away as others did. Conrad Murray was intrigued by it and went for “money for medicine madness” which is not tolerated by Judge Pastor.

Technicalities

Judge Pastor then went on to discuss some technicalities. Due to Realignment act Conrad Murray will serve his 4 year sentence in an LA county jail. Murray is to pay an $800 restitution fine, a $30 court security fee and $40 for criminal conviction assessment. Conrad Murray has to give blood, saliva, finger and palm prints for DNA data bank. If he refuses this it is a criminal act and he will be taken to court.

                    

Restitution

Judge Pastor then addressed the People and the defence over the restitution. Pastor stated he is concerned about the restitution in this case. Not often do you get such a large amount, especially as it is based on a three line statement in an email.

Conrad Murray will have to pay Michael Jackson’s children and family plus his funeral costs. As there is not enough information at the current time a later restitution hearing will be arranged. Judge Pastor needs a lot more details before he can comment on the amount of restitution to be paid.

This matter needs to be addressed within 120 days. Judge Pastor asked if the People or the defence have a date they would like to set. The People ask for mid January. The defence then stated they would like the matter resolved as quickly as possible. Judge Pastor stated if that was the case they could just agree on paying the $100.1 million now. The defence stated they would like the hearing in two weeks time. Judge Pastor stated this is not realistic. Judge Pastor set a restitution hearing date for 23^rd January 2012.

Conrad Murray has declined to attend this.

Appeal

Judge Pastor then noted that Dr Murray has already served 23 days in custody and also has 23 days of good behaviour. This means that Conrad Murray has 46 days worth of credits to be taken off of his 4 year sentence.

Judge Pastor then informed Murray that he has the right to appeal. If he wishes to do so he must start the process within 60 days of this date.

Conrad Murray was then taken back into police custody. As he left the courtroom he blow kisses to his family.

Summery

After being convicted of involuntary manslaughter the final chapter in this case was the sentencing. I feel from what Judge Pastor had said in his comments when denying Conrad Murray probation after the verdict was published that it was obvious Judge Pastor was going to go for the maximum 4 year sentence.

Although many people feel that this is not a long enough sentence it must be remembered that for Murray his life will be very different once he leaves prison. Although Judge Pastor has no say over whether Murray gets to keep his licence he wanted it to be known that he believes Murray to be a danger to society.

Even Murray own lawyer, Ed Chernoff, stated today that once Murray completes his sentence he may go to find work maybe as a barista in a coffee shop. It seems even Murray’s own legal team do not have much hope for his future.

But most significantly, and most damaging, is that forever Conrad Murray will always be known as the man who killed Michael Jackson.

Realignment Statute

There was a lot of talk about the Realignment Statute in the sentencing hearing. This was because this act directly impacts on Conrad Murray’s sentence.

The Realignment Act was introduced into law in the state of California on October 1^st, during the trial. This act states that any non-serious felony sentences are served in a county jail rather than a state prison to reduce overcrowding. The irony is county jails are also overcrowded. This means that Murray sentence has instantly been reduced to 2 years by the LA county sheriff.

There had also been speculation that Murray would spend most of his sentence on house arrest (on electronic tag) as a further measure to reduce overcrowding. The LA county sheriff has stated that currently Conrad Murray is not eligible for this.

Too light a sentence?

There has been a lot of discussion over whether four year is a long enough sentence for the crime that Conrad Murray committed. In fact even Judge Pastor seemed to imply that this was too lenient a sentence for what Murray had done.

I think this is a very difficult and ambiguous topic as this crime is unlike any other, and therefore does not really sit in any current category of charge specifically.

When breaking down an involuntary manslaughter charge there is no need to prove that the defendant was directly responsibly for the death of the victim, only that their actions, or lack thereof, would lead to a foreseeable or probably cause of serious injury or death. The very act of administering Propofol in a home environment without proper equipment to me is enough to be found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. By all intents and purposes it does seem that mostly accidental incidents are ones that fit this charge.

So to me if Murray had instantly called 911 and got help and even if Jackson still had not lived (although during the trial numerous medical experts claimed that if Murray had acted instantly Jackson would be alive today) just the act of anesthetising someone in their home would be reason enough to charge Murray with involuntary manslaughter.

What concerns me are the actions that Murray took after he found Jackson not breathing. By delaying getting medical assistance, trying to cover up evidence, to lie to lifesavers, to not tell the truth in his police interview (we know this to be the case as Murray’s account in the documentary he took part in opposes the story that he told police), these actions take the charge to a degree higher than involuntary manslaughter.

Judge Pastor also pointed out in the hearing that Murray had been trying to cover his tracks even before Michael had died. Murray had lied to the pharmacist and deliberately not kept any medical records about these treatments as he knew he was in the wrong.

But the actual actions that caused Jackson to die were not premeditated and I do believe that it was an accident (even though it was reckless and dangerous) so therefore a murder charge is not appropriate.

I believe it really is a unique case and because of this there is no real charge that gives a just sentence for Michael Jackson, or for Conrad Murray.

Accountability

In my first blog I wrote that it was my belief that people’s opinion of the trial would be influenced by whether they believed that a doctors must abide by the Hippocratic oath and medical ethics no matter what, or if whether a patient knows the risks and still asks for a treatment then they take on the accountability if anything were to go wrong. It was interesting to me that this turned out to be the crux of both legal teams’ arguments. I am happy to see that the jury and Judge Pastor both came down on the side of ethics and morality.

What I find interesting is that all of this happened due to Conrad Murray. Obviously he was in the wrong, and accountable, for ever administering Propofol in a home without monitoring or life saving equipment. But there was not enough evidence to prove Murray was in the wrong. It was Murray himself who then lay the fault in his own hands. Two days after Michael had died Conrad Murray asked to speak to police to give his account of that night. The prosecution had previously said that without this interview Conrad Murray would not have been on trial.

And Murray yet again had himself to blame when it came to his sentence. Judge Pastor directly stated that what Murray had said in the documentary he took part in surrounding the trial was a significant factor in him receiving the maximum sentence. In the documentary Murray stated ‘‘I don’t feel guilty because I did not do anything wrong’. Judge Pastor believes that if someone has no remorse and no acceptance of wrongdoing then there is no hope for rehabilitation. Therefore Murray must serve the maximum sentence.

At every stage, from when Murray first started working for Michael Jackson until to sentencing, Murray had continually tried to look out only for himself and in doing so did nothing but make himself more accountable. The saying ‘if you give them enough rope they will hang themselves’ springs to mind.

Medical ethics

Something that has always sat uncomfortably with me was the profit over people approach to medicine in the US. It is incomprehensible to me that in the developed world people with money can hire doctors as essentially legalised drug dealers, whilst on the other hand people die because they cannot afford basic medical care. This is such a backwards system and to me is totally against everything medicine stands for.

We must remember that the reason this came to court was because the victim was Michael Jackson, but we must not forget that it is a milestone in law that a doctor be held accountable for these sorts of actions. Michael Jackson was not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, celebrity to have been prescribed unnecessary drugs by a doctor. And lest we forget that the celebrity world will be a microcosm of the real world. How many other wealthy people are being exploited and enabled by doctors for a fee?

I was very glad that Judge Pastor directly addressed what he called the “money for medicine madness” and firmly stated that in his court this sort of conduct would never be tolerated.

Hopefully some good will come out of such a high profile case as this and will make corrupt doctors realise that they can be held accountable if they decide to take part in this unsightly practice.

All in all this is a very tragic tale of a desperately sad man that was exploited by all, but most unexpectedly by a trusted doctor.


Sophie Dewing

http://exploredreamdiscoverblog.blogspot.com/