At the end of 2010 a tragic story was to become the top of the news headlines. Joanna Yeates, a young, pretty, successful young woman from Bristol, was murdered and her body not found until over a week later. What really struck me about this story was the fact that the last time she was seen was on Friday night and no one noticed she was missing until Sunday evening. It really got me thinking about how isolated people's existences are in the modern age and also of my own situation.
Joanna's story got me thinking. If something were to happen to me I think it would be about a week before anyone would notice anything was strange and to take action. I do not include my family in this. My mum would have started worrying after not hearing from me in a few days. But I now realise that my mum does not have any contact numbers for anyone I know in London. As I am a freelance worker and always changing workplaces she doesn't have my work number either. Hell even I don't know my work number! If she were worried who could she contact?
The first people to notice anything would be my employers. I think at first they would be annoyed at me missing work but probably after a day or two would worry if I hadn't got in contact. It is quite sad to think the first people to notice things are wrong would be my employer, the people that you have the least connection to.
I think my friends would take a week before they thought something was wrong. If something were to happen to me on a Friday night my flatmate would probably assume that I had gone away for the weekend so wouldn't worry. And sometimes in the week we don't see each other, as it can be like ships passing in the night, so probably still wouldn't think anything was too unusual.
I undertake dance classes three times a week. I think if I missed one lesson people wouldn't think too much of it. If I missed two they might post a message on my Facebook wall to see why I missed class. I don't think until they hadn't heard or seen from me in maybe a week or so that they would actually start to think something was amiss.
My other friends mostly contract me via Facebook. I think if they had noticed I hadn't have any activity on Facebook in a few days they would text to see if I was OK. If they didn't hear back they would probably think I was busy and then not think about it for a few days. I think only after those days would they then start to worry.
Of course we can not forget that people have their own lives. I hold friendship in high esteem and it was interesting discussing this topic with friends as they made it clear that their priorities lie else where. It got me thinking that back in the day you went from your family home to your marital home so you always had someone looking out for you. Now we have so many opportunities and a lot of independence. For people who choose to take advantage of this, who often then have a time in their life where they will live on their own or flatshare and quite possibly in a city away from their families, who is looking out for these people? They say your friends are the family you choose. Yet most of my friends have said that this is not the case for them. They love spending time with their friends but their family is their partner or they are married to their work. Friends come second.
But when did we stop caring about friends so much? I have always looked out for my friends and if I did not hear from them in a day or two I would contact they just to check everything was OK. It really got me thinking that if something were to happen to me who would notice?
I think overall this shows the time we live in. Social networking and the Internet have made us all the masters of our own universes. We control what people see and know and can create any image of ourselves. We then control who can access this information and how much they can know. And we are all so busy maintaining this universe that we forget to live in the real world.
I think it is ironic that it is called social networking because in fact it is quite the opposite. People are less social. How often do you communicate to friends not via the Internet?
When I discussed with with a few friends they said that they would notice if I hadn't been on Facebook for a few days. Gone are the days when people text each other, or heaven forbid even spoke on the phone. I remember when society was complaining about the lack of face-to-face time people now have due to texting. Now texting would be seen as a blessing!
We are all becoming islands and instead of new technology bringing people together it is making us all more isolated than ever. It should never be the case that it takes days for people to realise a friend is missing or in trouble. How sad it is that we live in a society where someone can have been murdered and be lying in a ditch in the snow for 2 days before someone even realises she is missing?
I hope that if only one positive thing can come out of the sad case of Joanna Yeates is that we realise as people we need to start looking out for those we hold dear more closely. How would you feel if something happened to one of your friends and you had not noticed she was in trouble? Would this play on your conscience? Could you live with yourself?
And maybe it will stir further discussion into what friendship means in society today. What type of friend are you? Would you want to be friends with you regarding the way you currently look out for your friends?
As Jerry Springer would say 'take care of yourself and each other'.
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