People vs Conrad Murray - Day 7

We are now half way through the second week of the People vs. Conrad Murray trial, in relation to the death of Michael Jackson, and are on day seven of proceedings.

Sally Hirschberg

The first testimony of the day came from Sally Hirschberg, a medical supply representative who worked closely with Conrad Murray's office. Hirschberg stated the amount of orders she was receiving from Murray was out of the ordinary for what a cardiologist needs. It was also unusual for a cardiologist to buy Lidocaine and IV bags.

A huge list of drugs and equipment that was ordered by Murray for Jackson was shown to the jurors.

Hirschberg testified that she was asked by Murray to ship to a home address but Hirschberg refused as it was against policy to ship to homes.

On 26th June 2009 Hirschberg received a call to cancel all further medical supply orders.

Stephen Marx

The second person to testify was Stephen Marx, a computer forensic examiner. Marx had examined Murray's iPhone.

Most of Marx testimony centred on emails sent between AEG representatives (such as Paul Gongaware), Conrad Murray and Bob Taylor in the UK about Michael's health and specifications the insurers needed.

The insurers required lots of details about Michael’s present and previous medical health. Some of the questions in the emails asked if Michael had any medical issues such as back problems, lung problems, cancer, cosmetic procedures, anorexia. The insurers were keen to know if any speculative reports in the media about Jackson's ill health were fact or rumour. AEG were eager to get Michael to take any evaluations that the insurers needed and also thought it would be positive as they could then dismiss all the negative reports in the media about Michael's health.

The insurers were insistent that they would not insure Jackson for illness cover unless Michael carried out tests in a two hour assessment with them and they had thorough medial reports and a review of a rehearsal.

When Murray replied to these emails he stated that all reports about MJ's ill health were false to his knowledge. Murray also stated that MJ refused authorisation to release his medical records. Murray said he was the only doctor who was treating Michael since 2006.

It seems the defence will try to prove Jackson was already sick. Refusal to release medical records and no response to questions about media speculations could suggest there were medical conditions that were trying to be hidden. Also high profile conditions and illnesses or injuries that Michael suffered from that had been confirmed in courts of law or by Jackson's management had not been stated to insurers.

Audio recordings

The court was then played an audio recording from Murray's iPhone of Frank DiLeo, Michael Jackson's manager. In the voicemail from June 20th 2009 DiLeo states that MJ had an 'episode' last night and was sick. DiLeo said they need to do a blood test on Jackson to 'see what he is doing'. This infers that DiLeo was also aware MJ had a drug problem. I had previously mentioned that I feel a lot more people than Murray were aware of MJ's decline but no one did anything. This audio recording does imply that Michael's manager knew of the problem but was not doing much to stop it.

It is also interesting that DiLeo phoned Murray to discuss conducting a blood test to 'see what he [Michael Jackson] is doing' as this implies he may have thought MJ was taking some form of drugs without people's knowledge. In the case so far it seems to have shown that Michael was only using drugs that Murray administered or prescribed.

Marx then talked about an audio recording from the iTalk app, a digital voice recorder application on the iPhone. The recording was from May 10th 2009 and was an extended version of the slurred recording of Jackson that was played in the opening statements.

In the recording MJ talks about wanting to build a children’s hospital. Michael states children are sick because they are depressed. He spoke of how a hospital would be remembered more than his performance. Michael said 'I love them. I love them because I didn't have a childhood. I feel their pain. I feel their hurt'....'Heal the World', 'We Are The World, Will You Be There, The Lost Children these are songs I have written because I hurt. You know, I hurt'.

Murray then asked 'You OK?' Jackson replied 'I am asleep.'

This was a very sad recording to hear. It almost feels like Michael was asking for help and no one acknowledged it. It is sad that Michael would confide in Murray and even though it was obvious he was unhappy Murray never alerted anyone or tried to help resolve any issues. Instead he kept medicating Michael. As previously mentioned the people surrounding Michael knew that something was wrong (from testimonies from Kenny Ortega and a voicemail message from Frank DiLeo) but it seems it was almost easier for everyone to keep MJ sedated as it made him malleable to their needs.
 
Throughout the years I think Michael made it perfectly clear that he has problems that he was struggling with, (for example the very themes of the songs ‘Morphine’ and ‘Childhood’). Even when he clearly spelt out how he was feeling it got ignored. This would seemingly exacerbate the problems and can maybe point toward why Michael was having trouble sleeping and needing insomnia treatments. It could also be speculated that this could have also been one of the contributing factors to his drug use (although there are other suggested causes, for example the need for long term use of pain medication due to injuries such as his back injury which occurred after a stage prop malfunction during Earth Song in Germany in 1999)

In such a lucid state people often are brutally honest. It is amazing to think that even in such a state Michael's concern was the plight of sick children.

Elissa Fleak

The final testimony of the day was from Elissa Fleak, a coroner investigator for the LA county coroner's office. A coroner investigator performs death investigations to decide whether a death was a homicide, suicide, accident or natural.

Fleak stated on 25th June 2009 she went UCLA to examine Michael Jackson. The court was then shown a photo of Jackson on a gurney taken by Fleak. Fleak states she saw no obvious signs of trauma. Fleak then collected four vials of blood that were taken at the time of treatment at UCLA.

On 25^th and 29th of June 2009 Fleak went to Jackson's house to perform a scene investigation of where Michael died. The court was then shown photos of Michael's house and the bedroom in which he died. Fleak collected evidence that eventually was given to LAPD.

The prosecution presented evidence to Fleak to look at and confirm if these items were collected by her during the investigation. Fleak had to go through each item individually, leading to this section taking hours to complete as there were so many pieces of evidence.

Evidence

First the prosecution presented the evidence by the areas that they were discovered. First to be presented was a 20ml bottle of Propofol found next to the bed. Fleak states the bottle was empty. Also collected was an empty bottle of Flumazenil (a drug taken as an antidote to a benzodiazepine overdose for drugs such as Propofol). Also collected were 3 prescription drug bottles from the side table next to the bed. The drugs were Diazepam (prescribed by Conrad Murray, June 20th 2009), Lorazepam (prescribed by Conrad Murray, April 28th 2009), and Flomax (prescribed by Conrad Murray, June 3rd 2009).

On the lower shelf of the bedside table there was a wicker basket with additional prescription meds. These were; Clonazepam, Temazepam, Tizanidine and Trazodone. Some of these prescriptions were prescribed by a Dr Alan Metzger. Also some prescriptions used other people’s names (thought to be aliases of Jackson’s). Earlier in the proceedings an email sent by Murray in regard to insurance showed that Murray stated he was the only doctor treating Michael since 2006. This evidence would show that this was false as Dr Alan Metzger had prescribed drugs to Jackson.

On the left of the wicker basket was some Anthelios lotion, a high end sunscreen.

Also found in the bedroom were tubes of lotions. These were; Hydroquinone cream, Benoquin 20% and Lidocaine 4%. All three creams were prescribed by Conrad Murray. These are all skin bleaching creams. Previously Tim Lopez, a pharmacist, stated that Murray had spoken to him about needing skin whitening creams for African-American patients that suffered from Vitiligo.

There were also several oxygen tanks in the bedroom and one on a rolling dolly near the bed. Also on the floor was an ambubag. Under the ambubag was an IV catheter. Other medical supplies and needles were found nearby.

On a glass table near the bed was a 10CC syringe (with no needle), Lidocaine, alcohol prep pads, IV catheters, latex gloves and a box of syringes.

Also found in the bedroom was a syringe with a needles attached which was attached to a saline bag via tubes and hung on an IV stand.

In the closet

Fleak also searched the adjoining walk in closet. Inside the closet were various bags, including the bags Alverez mentioned in his testimony.

                                                                                                                                                                                          

Inside a black bag were a blood pressure cuff and 3 bottles of Lidocaine. 2 bottles were empty and one was half full. 

In a blue Costco bag was a pulse oximeter and a cut open saline bag with a 100ml bottle of Propofol inside it. Fleak states there was some liquid at bottom of saline bag. The Propofol bottle was more or less empty. Also found inside the same bag was an empty 20ml bottle of Propofol, a 10ml vial of Lorazepam, 2 bottles of Midazolam, a small bloody prep pad/gauze, and a plastic bag with medical debris. The blue bag was mentioned by Alverez in his testimony. Alverez stated that when he arrived into the bedroom Michael was lying on the bed. Murray then asked him to put some items, (specifically a Propofol bottle and a saline bag), into a blue bag. After Alverez did this he then called 911.

In a baby essentials bag there were 2 100ml Propofol bottles (full), 7 smaller 20ml Propofol bottles (4 unopened, 3 were opened but contained different levels of liquid), 3 Lidocaine bottles (1 unopened, 2 opened and partially consumed), 3 10ml vials of Midazolam (2 unopened, 1 opened), 4 bottles of Flumazenil (3 unopened, 1 opened and majority consumed), 2 bottles of Lorazepam (1 unopened, 1 opened and half full), a pill bottle containing Ephedrine, caffeine and aspirin, a lotion, eye drops, an IV tubing device, a blue tourniquet and 5 business cards for Conrad Murray.

Next to the bags were some lotions. There were 18 tubes of Hydroquinone and 18 tubes of Benoquin. In an earlier testimony during the trial it was stated that after Michael Jackson was pronounced dead at UCLA Murray was insistent he be taken back to Jackson's house to remove creams that Jackson wouldn't want the world to know about. I presume that these were the creams and Michael wanted them to be kept private as they were skin bleaching treatments.

Summary

By the end of the day nearly the whole of the prosecutor's table was taken up with vials of medicines, creams, bags and medical equipment. It is extraordinary just how many items Murray was using. It seems the treatments were almost out of control. To have nine medicines next to a bed that can be used as sedatives is incredible. How bad does someone's insomnia need to be that nine different medications need to be tried or used? I think it shows Murray was ridiculously overmedicating Jackson. Anything on this scale in an unregulated and non-clinical environment is an accident waiting to happen.

I have been interested to hear the coroner's office testify in this case as this investigation (as well as autopsy / toxicology reports) will define how Michael Jackson actually died. Combined with the coroner's investigation of the house it should give a good indication of what occurred on 25^th June 2009. As Conrad Murray and Michael Jackson are the only two people who actually know what happened that day this will be the closest we will ever come to knowing the events that took place. Fleak’s testimony is going to be one of the most crucial in the trial.

Tomorrow Fleak will continue her testimony.

Sophie Dewing (@sophiedewing)

http://exploredreamdiscoverblog.blogspot.com/

People vs Conrad Murray - Day 6

On day six of the trial we continue with prosecution witness testimonies.

Stacey Ruggles

The first testimony of the day was from Stacey Ruggles, an employee of Conrad Murray since 1997. Ruggles stated she spoke to Murray on the 25th June 2009. That was all the prosecution asked.

The defence asked about when Ruggles helped Murray open a medical office in Texas. The medical office was for people who couldn't afford a physician. Ruggles stated Murray didn't really make money out of this office. So far all testimonies by people who have worked with or been treated by Murray have been positive. A previous patient of Murray stated his treatment was first class, up until the time Murray went to work for Jackson, (at what point the patient claimed Murray 'abandoned' him).

Ruggles also testified that she was told in April 2009 that Murray would be working with Michael Jackson.

Ruggle's testimony only took 7 minutes.

Murray’s girlfriends testify

Next to testify were four of Murray's girlfriends.

Bridget Morgan, one of Murray's girlfriends, phoned Murray on June 25th 2009 but he did not pick up.

Michelle Bella, who met Murray in a Las Vegas nightclub, was texting with Murray on 25th June. She also confirmed Murray had told her a few weeks earlier that he would be working with Michael Jackson.

Nicole Alvarez

Nicole Alvarez, Murray's long term girlfriend and the mother of one of Murray's children, confirmed she had packages of Propofol delivered to her Santa Monica home. Alvarez stated that she did not know what was contained in the packages.

Alvarez was also asked about knowing about Murray's salary. Alvarez stated she knew the amount of $150,000 a month. Alvarez had earlier testified she didn't know about Murray’s salary. When Brazil (prosecution lawyer) grilled her over her changing statement Alvarez became flustered and said she was unsure.

Alvarez also said she met Jackson on a few occasions and introduced her and Murray's child to Jackson.

Alvarez testified that she was on the phone to Murray when he was in the ambulance with Jackson. Murray called her to tell her to not worry, everything was fine but she would probably hear about the story on the news. Murray then went on to call her four more times throughout the afternoon.

Apparently the LAPD have stated they believe Alvarez knows a lot more about what happened on that day than what she has stated to protect her child's father.

Sade Anding

Sade Anding, a girlfriend of Murray, was on the phone to Murray when Jackson reportedly got into medical trouble. Anding said she heard a commotion and then got cut off and couldn't get back in touch. This call was at 11.51AM. The ambulance wasn't called until 12.21PM, 30 minutes later. This fact does show that Murray did not act appropriately to the situation. If someone is to stop breathing every minute counts. After 30 minutes without breathing or pulse there is very little that could be done to save someone life.

In total Murray was on the phone for 46 minutes out of the hour before Michael Jackson reportedly stopped breathing. This strongly supports the prosecution’s claim that Murray was negligent and this negligence lead to Michael dying.

Tim Lopez

The final testimony of the day came from Tim Lopez, a pharmacist. In the lead up to the trial there was some worry about Lopez as he left the country (against orders) and disappeared to Thailand. Luckily he return to the US to testify.

Lopez testified that he sent large quantities of Propofol to Murray. Lopez first met Murray in 2008 when Murray asked for a skin whitening cream for African-American patients that suffer from Vitiligo (a disease Jackson suffered from).

Lopez went on to say in April 2009 Murray ordered 35 vials of Propofol. Murray kept some of the vials and sent the rest to a Santa Monica address (reportedly Nicole Alvarez's address). Between April - June 2009 Murray then kept ordering lots more Propofol.

The jury were showed receipts of the large amounts of Propofol that Murray purchased.

In total 225 vials of Propofol, 20 vials of Lorazepam and 60 vials of Midazolam (another treatment for insomnia and sedation) were purchased by Murray. This is an incredible, and unreasonably, large amount of drugs. Even to someone who is not an expert this seems absurdly excessive. This fact will be key to the trial.

The court was then adjourned early due to a possible weather condition.

A fair trial?

Outside of the courtroom the trial is also getting much discussion - and mainly down to Murray and the defence team! There have been reports that Murray was discussing the case with his barber over the weekend. As previously mentioned a gagging order has been put in place by the judge after the defence had been speaking to the media about the case last week. I think it is extraordinary that the defendant and his team are openly discussing the case outside the courtroom.

I think this shows the big difference between US and UK law. Under no circumstances in the UK can a case be discussed outside the courtroom and it cannot be televised.

Also last week LaToya Jackson had been tweeting live from the courtroom. In the UK people have gone to prison for doing this.

I really don't see how the jury are expected to cut themselves off from hearing about the case when everyone involved in the case is openly discussing it with the world. It also shows how cases in the US can be more trialled in public and press than in the courtroom. The recent Casey Anthony case was plastered all over the US media and anyone who had read or heard anything about that case had made their mind up about the verdict. And the majority thought Anthony was guilty.

When the verdict was reached and Anthony was found not guilty there was a huge public backlash against the jury. One juror came forward and said they just could not give a guilty verdict without having enough evidence. It seems the hype and reportage in the press whipped up a frenzy that convicted Anthony in the public’s eyes. Although the facts in the trial were very condemning it came down to the fact of was there enough evidence to prove guilt? The jury did not think this was the case. This does seem vital as Casey Anthony was possibly facing the death penalty.

There have been discussions in the media that the jury in this case may feel under pressure to give a guilty verdict to Murray even if they are not 100% certain from the evidence they have witnessed to avoid a public backlash, such as what happened to the jurors in the Casey Anthony case.

The trial continues.

Sophie Dewing (@sophiedewing)

http://exploredreamdiscoverblog.blogspot.com/

People vs Conrad Murray - Day 5

We have now entered the second week of the trial and are continuing with prosecution witness testimonies.


Day 5

Day 5 started with no real developments or news. The first two testimonies came from two representatives from mobile phone service providers testifying about the call records from Murray's phone.

I did not view these testimonies so am unable to comment fully on these.

Dr Thao Nguyen

The third testimony was from Dr Thao Nguyen, a cardiologist from UCLA hospital where Michael Jackson was taken. Dr Nguyen stated that when she arrived in the trauma room she was directed to Conrad Murray to be briefed as to the situation with Michael Jackson. Murray was the primary source, not Dr Cooper, the ER doctor (who testified on Friday). Hence why Dr Nguyen was directed to him. Dr Nguyen asked Murray if any sedative had been administered to Jackson. Murray only mentioned Lorazepam. He did not mention Propofol. This is what Murray also told paramedic Senneff but is at odds with what Murray told paramedic Blount and Dr Richelle Cooper. Murray only told these witnesses that he had given MJ saline to treat dehydration.

Dr Nguyen also stated that 'it didn't look like time was on Mr Jackson's side' and she believed he was already dead. The only reason the team continued resuscitation attempts was because Conrad Murray told the hospital team he had felt a pulse earlier. Dr Nguyen stated Murray sounded 'desperate' and 'looked devastated'. Murray asked them to 'not give up easily and try to save his [Michael Jackson's] life.’ After an hour of trying to save Michael's life Dr Nguyen said the team tried to use a balloon to resuscitate Michael, even though they believed that it was not going to be successful. The team then had to convince and prepare Murray that they were not going to continue any more attempts and pronounce Michael Jackson as dead. 

Dr Nguyen was then asked a lot of detailed questions about certain drugs and the effects they have. This was a very interesting section. Dr Nguyen talked about orally and intravenously (IV) administered drugs. Dr Nguyen stated to treat insomnia she would use orally administered Lorazepam.  She would not use an IV (as was the method the Murray told her he had used).  She states 2- 4mg of Lorazepam would be needed for insomnia. Murray claimed he gave an IV of 4mg of Lorazepam to get Jackson to sleep. An IV has a much quicker effect and the result lasts longer.

Dr Nguyen explained an IV dose of Lorazepam takes 5 - 7 minutes to put that patient to sleep. It has a half-life of 14 hours - plus or minus 5 hours. From this they can then try to judge when Michael was given the Lorazepam (although this is nothing something Dr Nguyen would be able to testify about as she would not have conducted this test).

When questioned about insomnia treatments Dr Nguyen stated a 1 or 2mg pill of Lorazepam would make someone sleep all night without waking up. Of course this depends on the host and their tolerance to drugs. A benzodiazepine addict (alleged as someone like Michael) would probably need to take more than 4mg to sleep.  Dr Nguyen states if someone is not sleeping and need a higher dosage then they need to be closely monitored and the higher the level the higher the risk of side effects.

The defence than asked about a 20mg doze. Dr Nguyen seemed shocked they were asking about such a large amount. Dr Nguyen said 20mg is a large dose that she had never used. The defence asked if this amount could kill someone. Dr Nguyen said it could but went on to explain how Lorazepam works. Dr Nguyen states Lorazepam affects the brain. It makes the host very sleepy. One danger is if the brain becomes so sleepy that it tells the diaphragm not to work so the patient would stop breathing. Dr Nguyen confirmed that 20mg would depress consciousness very quickly and stop the patient breathing. Dr Nguyen added it would not cause respiratory or cardiac collapse. 

Dr Nguyen was then questioned about Propofol. She stated as a cardiologist she is licensed to use Propofol. Although Dr Nguyen is licensed to administer Propofol she would only ever do it with a crash cart present and with the correct personnel in the correct areas of a hospital. She has never used Propofol without an anaesthesiologist.

Dr Nguyen then repeatedly and strongly stated that Propofol must only been administered in a hospital but always only in the ICU or the procedure room, a 'designated place with designated personnel'. A crash cart must always be available.  

Dr Nguyen states that she does not use Propofol outside of a hospital and had never heard of Propofol being used in a bedroom of a home. She explicitly expressed once more that when Propofol is used in a hospital it is only ever used in certain rooms with certain personnel.  

Dr Nguyen also stated that unlike Lorazepam Propofol will cause respiratory and cardiac arrest. Lorazepam can stop breathing but will not cause respiratory or cardiac collapse.

Dr Nguyen asked if Conrad Murray used anything to reverse effects of Lorazepam in Michael. Murray stated no. The defence then asked what would have been needed to reverse the effects. Dr Nguyen explained that an IV of 0.2mg of the drug Flumazenil would be the antidote to an overdose of Propofol. But the Flumazenil needs to be used in seconds. The result will be a delay the depression of the brain and respiratory collapse and possibly stop the need for intubation, or at least give time for intubation to take place. This highlighted the need for a crash cart and lifesaving medical equipment to be near when using Propofol. Something Murray did not have access to. 

The final section with Dr Nguyen discussed the effect Propofol has on people. Dr Nguyen states that an IV of Propofol would make someone sleep very quickly. The defence then stated that Propofol would not make someone's speech slurred. Instead they would sleep. It seems this was a tactic to pass blame. In the opening statements the defence claimed that Dr Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, was responsible for getting Michael addicted to drugs. 

Dr Nguyen's testimony was very interesting and gave a very clear insight into the way the two drugs that are key in this case work. It also reiterated the need for Propofol to only be administered by a qualified anaesthesiologist, in a clinical setting and with the correct lifesaving equipment present. 

Dr Joanne Praschard

The fourth testimony was from Dr Joanne Praschard, a physician based in Texas. Dr Praschard treated a patient of Conrad Murray. The patient was taking medicine that was a concern to the anaesthesiologist. Dr Praschard needed to speak to Murray to see if she could take the patient off the drug to have the operation. Dr Prashard had some difficulty contacting Murray but eventually spoke on 25th June. Murray stated the patient needed to continue with the drug. Dr Praschard did note that Murray knew exactly what patient she was discussing and recalled the treatment even without notes in front of him. Dr Praschard was impressed with this as she states doctors see so many patients it is often difficult to remember details from memory. 

Dr Prashard's testimony seemed to play more into the defence’s hands which is unusual for a prosecution witness. But Dr Prashard did also state that it is vital a doctor write all treatments and drugs on a patient’s medical charts so that others afterwards can then give correct treatments. This was to highlight that Murray did not ever write any medical notes for the treatments he gave Jackson over the duration of time that he worked with Jackson or give vital information to paramedics or the UCLA trauma doctors.

Phonecalls

The prosecution then called two women that Murray spoke to on the morning of the 25th June 2009. The first woman to testify was from Antoinette Gille, a volunteer at one of Murray's medical practices. The second was Bridgette Morgan, a woman Murray met in a nightclub in Las Vegas. Although neither of these phone calls took place during the time that Michael Jackson got into trouble it shows that Murray was distracted in his duties during that day. As has been stated by Dr Nguyen and Bob Johnson, from the pulse oximeter company, the procedure Murray was performing on Jackson needed constant monitoring. Leaving the room repeatedly to make phone calls shows his lack of focus and plays into the prosecutions argument that Murray neglected Michael, which then led to his death. 

Tomorrow the girlfriend of Murray, who was apparently on the phone when Michael got into medical difficulty, is set to testify. 

Sophie Dewing (@sophiedewing)

http://exploredreamdiscoverblog.blogspot.com/

People vs Conrad Murray - Week 1

Tuesday 27th September was the first day of the People vs. Conrad Murray trial over the death of Michael Jackson. As I have mentioned in my previous post I thought I would only have a passing interest in trial and read updates on news websites.  But I have found myself unable to stop watching and have viewed the trial daily. Here is my summery of the events so far.


Day One

On day one of the trial the prosecutor and defence read their opening statements. This is the guide to what they will be presenting and trying to prove throughout the trial. I really wasn't prepared for the shocking opening statement that the persecution had.

First of all I understand the prosecution wanted to make a strong first impression but I do think it was in poor taste and very shocking to have the slideshow background be an image of Michael Jackson's dead body. This certainly got the trial off to an explosive start but it did seem an exploitative attempt to jump start proceedings and it certainly started a media circus.

The prosecution's statement laid out the fact that Conrad Murray was negligent and abandoned Michael Jackson which led to his death.

The part of the prosecution's opening statement that had the biggest public reaction was the audio recording from May 2009 of Jackson barely coherent and slurring his words. This did send a strong message that MJ's drug use was a lot worse than had ever previously been stated. The prosecution then proceeded to note that the day afterwards Murray purchased 4000 litres of Propofol. Someone slurring in that state clearly does not need 4000 litres of Propofol.

It was always going to be interesting to see what the defence’s statement would be. It had been speculated that they would try and prove that Michael Jackson killed himself by drinking Propofol and the opening statement confirmed that this would be the case. I personally have always felt this was a very weak argument, especially in the method they stated. To my understanding drinking Propofol would not kill you instantly (as the defence have said is what happened to Jackson). If taken orally you would expel the drug as your body would reject it as poison. No evidence of vomiting or such like was present. Also there is a reason drugs are administered intravenously, to start working immediately as they enter directly into the bloodstream. Orally administered treatments take longer to start working therefore instantaneous death seems unlikely.

What quickly became apparent also was that Ed Chernoff was a very poor choice of defence lawyer. Chernoff is often muddled, questions around in circles and is having to be asked by the judge what he is actually trying to say. In fact during the opening statements Chernoff used a board with questions on which spelt Michael Jackson's name wrong! On more than one occasion this week the judge has even reprimanded Chernoff. It was clear from the off that Murray was going to have an uphill struggle as there seemed to be more evidence against him than for him. Combine that with a very weak defence team and it seems that unless the defence have something significant that they are yet to reveal it is very unlikely Murray will be found not guilty.

Day one also started the prosecution witness testimonies. I did not view the testimonies in full so I will not be discussing the AEG representatives. The second person to testify was Kenny Ortega. I didn't view the whole of Kenny Ortega's testimony so I cannot have a clear stand point on what he has said. From what I have seen it is clear that people working on the 'This Is It' production knew something was wrong with Michael, whether they thought it physical or mental. Ortega did state he was concerned with Michael and in fact sent him home from one rehearsal as Michael seemed to be unwell. Ortega also stated he had a heated discussion with Conrad Murray where he expressed to Murray he was concerned for MJ's health. Ortega testifies that Murray then told him that he was the doctor so Ortega should keep out of his business and that Jackson was in good health. Ortega then wrote an email to AEG voicing his concern and expressed that he would not continue to work on the production unless Michael's mental state was assessed to see if he was fit enough to undertake the 'This Is It' tour. This email was ignored.

Personally from hearing the audio recording of Michael's slurred speech and Ortega's acknowledgement of days when MJ seemed out of it or unable to perform it seems evident to me that 'This Is It' should never have been happening at all. Ever since watching the film in the cinema I thought it was obvious that in parts of the film MJ seemed high or not quite himself. He also looked extremely thin. The problem arises when you watch footage from 'This Is It' (as the jury did - the last performance Michael Jackson ever did of Earth Song on 24th June 2009), and Jackson performs well, in fact really well. To be singing and dancing to that level in a rehearsal is amazing. And it seems at odds with the audio recording from a little over a month earlier. There is no doubt Michael's performance was something very special and a glimpse that the Michael Jackson of old was set to make a return. What would have been interesting is the fact that Ortega does state there were days MJ couldn't perform and the fact that Sony refused unseen footage of 'This Is It' to be shown in court does seem to ask what are Sony trying to hide? As I stated before it is obvious people involved in the production knew something was not right with Michael. It seems to me that people were more concerned with getting their part of the production done than ensuring the health and wellbeing of Michael Jackson. As I mentioned in my previous post although Murray is on trial I feel a lot more people are culpable in this case but Murray is the fall guy. It would be interesting to see why Sony explicitly did not want footage of 'This Is It' to be viewed.


Day 2

On day two of the trial no new details emerged. All of the testimonies spoke of details that have been publicly spoken about over the past two years. Michael Amir testified about the panicked phone call he received from Murray, but Amir was only told MJ had a bad reaction and to send someone up to the bedroom. It is worth noting that Michael Amir received this phone call around 15 minutes after Michael apparently stopped breathing (by account from the time of the phone call to Murray's girlfriend where she heard a commotion and from paramedic evaluations of the condition Jackson was in by the time they arrived). Faheem Mohammad, one of Jackson's personal security team, also spoke on what he saw.

This was the first time in court that it was mentioned that Michael's children saw the resuscitation attempt on their father. This was a very poignant point.


Day 3

Day three was always going to be an interesting day as a key witness, Alberto Alverez, (another of MJ's personal security team), was due to testify. Alverez's account has been known publicly for some time but it is still shocking to hear his version of events.

Alverez states he received a call from Michael Amir telling him to go to the bedroom as he had received a phone call from Conrad Murray. When Alverez arrived he saw Michael on the bed and claims Michael looked dead to him. When he arrived Murray was giving one handed chest compression to Michael. Murray then started handing Alverez vials of Propofol and told Alverez to put them in a bag. Murray also requested that an IV bag also be put into the bag. In court they showed the IV bag which Alverez stated contained an empty vial of Propofol. It was actually quite shocking to see this evidence.

When asked why he would hide the vials Alverez stated that as Murray was a doctor he took everything at face value and assumed Murray had everything under control. At the time there was no reason to assume anything other than a bad reaction had occurred.

Alverez said after packing the bags he then called 911 and at the request of the emergency services Murray and himself moved MJ to the floor where Alverez started chest compression and Murray performed mouth to mouth. Alverez stated that Murray said he had never performed CPS before (as a cardiologist, or even a medical practitioner, this is quite extraordinary) and that he wouldn't usually give mouth to mouth but as MJ was a friend he had to do it. I thought it was usually known as the Hippocratic Oath and as a doctor he had to react to the situation, especially a life threatening one, regardless.

Alverez also spoke about trying to usher the children away as they were watching the resuscitation attempt. Alverez got emotional when speaking about Paris' reaction and listening to 911 call.

The defence were grilling as if Alverez was on trial. I was impressed at howAlverez kept cool. Chernoff repeatedly asked if Alverez was sure his memory was correct and he hadn't misremembered that he called 911 after Murray asked him to hid vials and the IV bag. Alverez repeatedly stated that Murray asked him to hide the vials of Propofol before he was asked to call 911.

The second testimony of the day was Kai Chase, MJ's personal chef. Chase stated on the 25th she performed her duties as usual. Between 12.05PM and 12.10PM Murray ran down the stairs in a frantic and panicked manner. She said by his manner she thought something was wrong with Michael. Murray asked her to 'get help, get security, get Prince'. Chase told how she went and got Prince and then returned to her duties. The defence argued that if Murray was in a panic and asked for help, security and Prince did Chase only get Prince? I do think this is a valid point. Chase answered that she was just doing what she was told.

A point I thought the defence would pick out was the fact that Chase stated that she had earned money off of interviews conducted after MJ's death. I believe they didn't grill her as much as I expected over this.

The defence were really tough on Chase but she didn't stand for it and stood her ground and gave answers back. I am baffled as to why Murray would ask for Prince as he knew MJ was not breathing so why make his child witness that? (I assume so that he could state that someone in the Jackson family saw him try to revive MJ). I am also confused as to why if Chase though MJ might be in danger that she would send Prince off with Murray. But I do appreciate that in an unexpected situation you act differently to what is obvious in hindsight.

In my opinion it doesn't matter what anyone’s actions were at this stage because Michael Jackson was already dead. And possibly for up to 15 minutes before anyone apart from Murray was notified. The trial is about what caused that death. The testimonies from the people who were present are just to discover if Murray incriminated himself in any way after the death.

On day three it also became highlighted just how bad a lawyer Ed Chernoff seems to be. It is interesting to view how many times Judge Pastor has scolded Chernoff for his questioning and aggressive tone. Also the number of objections by the prosecution that have been sustained is extraordinary.

Although he is not involved in this case Michael Jackson's lawyer from the second allegations made against him, Tom Mesereau, gave a statement saying [Conrad Murray] "violated every ethical obligation he had as a doctor". Mesereau continued by saying Murray should be found guilty and go to prison. I do have to say that at this juncture I tend to agree with this.


Day 4

On day four of the trial they started rattling through testimonies.

First up was Bob Johnson from a pulse oximeter company. His testimony only took 30 minutes. Johnson plainly stated that the pulse oximeter Murray was using was for spot checks only. When questioned by the defence he admitted that the pulse oximeter does give continuous readings but you must constantly monitor it as there is no alarm. This played into the prosecutor’s hands as the monitor was not constantly monitored as Murray left the room to conduct phone calls and there was no alarm. The defence tried to argue that although they recommend the device is only for spot checks it can be used constantly. Johnson then explicitly, and strongly, denied that this was an appropriate way to use the device. I felt this was a key moment.

The second testimony came from a patient of Conrad Murray's who stated Murray revealed he would be treating Michael Jackson so would cease his duties at his medical practices. First of all I believe this breaks patient confidentiality (although this was not mentioned). The patient did say that until Murray took the contract with Jackson, Murray had gone well above and beyond his duties as a doctor and Murray's care had been first class. Once Murray took the Jackson offer the patient felt abandoned as Murray took little to no interest for the patients care. It is worth noting the patient stated he felt abandoned. This is a word the prosecutors have used repeatedly in their argument.

The testimonies then moved to the medical personnel that attended to Michel Jackson on 25th June. These testimonies are key to the trial. First up was firefighter and paramedic Richard Senneff. His testimony was shocking and very damning for Murray.

Senneff states that when he arrived Murray was in the bedroom with Michael on his own. Michael was still lying on the bed and Murray was not administering CPR. In fact Murray was walking around the room with a plastic bag. Senneff states when he walked into the room Murray looked like a 'deer in headlights'. This is very damaging to Murray (and sound very suspicious). It also calls into question the validity of Alberto Alverez's testimony as he clearly stated Murray and himself moved Jackson to the floor when Alverez was on the phone to 911 before the paramedics arrived to continue CPR. According to the paramedics this was not the case.

Senneff states that Murray didn't really answer any of his medical questions when Senneff arrived.  Murray said there were no medical problems but Senneff thought this did not add up as he could see an IV hooked up to Michael Jackson's leg.  Senneff also stated that Jackson was underweight and looked like he had a chronic illness. When asked when Jackson stopped breathing Murray replied 'it happened right when I called you'. Senneff then said the paramedics thought they could save Michael because if it happened only a few minutes before there was a good chance of restarting the heart. This is such a key and vital testimony as it states if Murray has reacted accordingly to the situation Michael Jackson may well have been alive today. This is shocking and big news. And very condemning evidence against Murray.

In actual fact between Murray noticing Michael wasn't breathing to the paramedics being called and arriving was a 20 minute delay. Murray had also lied to paramedics by not telling them he had administer Propofol. Eventually Murray admitted he had given MJ Lorazepam and a saline drip from the IV bag for dehydration.

Another shocking statement that Senneff claimed was that during paramedic resuscitation efforts Murray knocked out the IV which was administering heart starting drugs to Michael. Listening to this testimony was just unbelievable. The amount of errors and information that Murray hid is extraordinary and does prove his guilt for this charge.

The 4th testimony came from Martin Blount, another paramedic. Blount stated that Murray said MJ was healthy and didn't state he had given Propofol. Murray only stated the IV bag that was attached to MJ contained saline as MJ was dehydrated after rehearsal. This then lead the paramedics to use the same IV bag to administer heart starting drugs (although this was soon knocked out by Murray.)

A key point was when Blount said Lidocaine vials were on the floor yet paramedics do not carry this. Murray never admitted he gave Jackson Lidocaine. Blount continued by saying Murray proceeded to collect the vials of Lidocaine and put them into bags whilst the paramedics were in the room. This is incredible.

The 5th testimony came from Dr Richelle Cooper, the doctor who worked on Jackson at the hospital. Cooper stated Murray only said Jackson was dehydrated. He gave no further details. This was obviously very misleading and could have hindered any attempts to save Michael's life.

The evidence in this section is more condemning as it is from medical professionals.

Day 5's testimonies are highly damaging to Murray's case. Unless the defence bring something unexpected a guilty verdict is almost guaranteed.

It is also worth noting is a gag order has been placed on lawyers after a defence lawyer gave a TV interview.


Summery

So far the testimonies seem to point towards a guilty verdict at this juncture. We must remember that currently it is the prosecution witness testimonies so the witnesses would have been selected to give most sway to the prosecution's argument. But there is no doubt that it is very hard to explain away a lot of the statements that have been made.

All the witnesses at the moment are only being questioned to see how Murray, if at all, incriminated himself afterwards. From their testimonies it seems Murray repeatedly incriminated himself by not responding appropriately, withholding information and hiding evidence.

It should be interesting to see how the trial develops once medical professionals such as the coroner testify and also the see what witnesses the defence call forward.

As I have mentioned unless the defence are withholding a substantial piece of evidence that proves Murray's innocence's it seems unlikely that it would be reasonable to give a non guilty verdict.

The trial continues today.

Sophie Dewing (@sophiedewing)

http://exploredreamdiscoverblog.blogspot.com/

People vs. Conrad Murray - Opening Statements

The big story at the moment is the People vs. Conrad Murray case in regard to the death of Michael Jackson. I thought I would take a passing interest in the case and read updates on the news. Instead I have found myself watching the trial live each night.

Although I am a big MJ fan I have always tried to approach the case objectively. I think Michael Jackson was the greatest perform to ever have lived, his music and dance inspiring and uplifting, his humanitarian work admirable and a genuinely nice, caring, gentle person. But I can still accept that Michael Jackson had a lot of problems and was a drug addict for many years. Although many MJ fan view him as some sort of saintly figure I very much can see that MJ was a human like all of us and indeed had flaws.

I have found it interesting to hear people’s opinions on the case. A lot of MJ fans are diehard in their approach and believe murder should be the charge. On the other hand a lot of people support Murray as they believe he is being gunned after only because the victim is Michael Jackson.

I believe there is a middle ground and it is important for everyone to cast aside any of their personal beliefs and just look at the evidence. To believe Michael Jackson was living a normal, healthy lifestyle until that one night is absurd. But to believe Murray is innocent is even more nonsensical because of the evidence that has proved contrary.

To look at the case objectively it is not about whether Conrad Murray killed Michael Jackson or not. It is whether a doctor acted appropriately to a situation.

From the opening statements it is clear he did not. Anaesthetics should never be administered outside a clinical environment and even if you are getting paid large sums of money you know by undertaking this, even at the request of the patient, that it is compromising your ethics and making you accountable. So therefore you should be extra careful and vigilant (although personally I would say you shouldn't be doing it at all).

Anaesthetics need to be constantly monitored and the fact Murray left the room for an extended period of time does show negligence.

It is advisable to establish that Michael Jackson was a drug addict and had asked for these treatments. It is also important to remember that Michael specifically asked for Murray to be his doctor although his team wanted to hire someone else. 

I also think it is important to remember that Murray was not an anaesthesiologist. He had no training in this field, he was not performing the procedure in a clinical environment and he had no monitoring or lifesaving equipment. Also as Murray was a cardiologist it seems he may have been incompetent in that capacity as he did not know how to administer CPR.

In the opening statements there was a lot of damning evidence shown by the prosecution but Murray defence was very weak. The only string they are holding onto is that Jackson killed himself when Murray left the room. This is highly unlikely as it is virtually impossible to do in the method they stated.

Michael Jackson was deeply troubled and it is plain to see the extent is worse than anyone imagined. I just think it is very sad that there were a lot of people around him and no one took a stand to do anything. It does seem that the greed of people overlooked the health and wellbeing of a man who then paid the ultimate price. Of course Michael Jackson was a drug addict and it is risky behaviour to live on a cocktail of drugs. But when people overlook this, add pressure and then ignore warning signs for their own benefit it is a sad state of affairs. A lot more people are culpable in this death but Murray will be the fall guy as he was the person directly responsible for Michael's health, of which he did not try to treat, instead he fuelled it. Combine with his incompetence as a doctor (for this type of treatment) it lead to Michael Jackson dying.

Everyone is going to have an opinion based on whether they support Michael Jackson or Conrad Murray but to look objectively there is still more evidence against Murray than for him.

I personally don't see how Murray will get away with this because he was negligent, he was unqualified and then acted completely inappropriately (and guiltily) but not telling all the information to paramedics, hiding evidence and not calling medics straight away.

The way I see it Murray was given an opportunity of a lifetime. He knew he was in no way qualified to undertake what was being asked of him but he decided he would try to blag. With this situation, where it is life threatening treatments if not done properly, blagging was never an option and he killed MJ through incompetence and negligence.

By agreeing to be Michael's doctor Murray was acknowledging he knew what would be expected of him and that he could undertake the treatment and procedures. Murray was someone Jackson trusted. And as the prosecution stated "that misplaced trust, in the hands of Conrad Murray, cost Michael Jackson his life"

I personally would say at this time a guilty verdict for involuntary manslaughter would be appropriate. Manslaughter is defined as a death caused by actions that were not planned or premeditated. I believe looking at the evidence thus far manslaughter defines this case.

To perform such a dangerous clinical procedure outside of a medical setting in a specialism that you are not qualified in it is very serious and reckless. As previously mentioned a person will know whether they are capable or comfortable or qualified to do certain undertakings and if they aren't but go ahead (presumably because of  the large pay sum) they have to be held accountable for their actions. I think what also condemns Murray is his inability to inform medical professionals of the drugs he had given Michael Jackson and the fact he removed and hid evidence.

I do find it interesting how at no point the ethics or morality of a doctor administering and prescribing drugs to a patient who does not need them is being discussed. In the US the medical care system is so closely tied to profit and money making that if you have enough money your doctor will become your legal drug dealer. The practice of medicine is to heal the sick so the very thought of doctors partaking in this appals me.

I feel there may be a hung jury as it is subjective as to whether you believe Murray is accountable because he was performing something he had been asked to do by Michael. In the US the medical care system is very much profit over people. Whether the jurors believe in this system will play a part in how they reach their verdict. I have heard the argument that if a patient pays for a treatment they don't need then they should be held accountable if something were to go wrong as they knew what they were asking for. The opposing argument (and the theory I support) is that doctors and medical professionals should not be compromising medical ethics by giving people unnecessary treatments or prescriptions no matter how much money is involved. I think which side the majority of the juror falls on will ultimately decide which way the verdict will go.

The fact that in this case Murray was performing a life threatening procedure that needed training, a clinical setting and lifesaving equipment that he did not have does prove to me he is guilty of manslaughter.

What I take away most from the trial so far is just how sad and isolated Michael was in his final months. It truly breaks my heart that a person can be suffering so much and yet everybody around them ignores it for their own gain. Especially someone who I see as a sensitive, loving and a kind soul. His aim was to make people happy and spread the message of love. It feels exploitative and violating just how misused and abused MJ had been by people that were meant to look out for him. MJ had a lot of people in the world that loved him and yet the people who are meant to be closest to him had such disregard for Michael wellbeing. It is truly tragic.

I have always felt that Michael Jackson sacrificed himself for his art. It was always visible in pictures, even from a young age, that Michael carried much sadness and weight upon his shoulders. As he got older and became the biggest star that ever existed it was apparent people could not look past Michael Jackson the persona. Michael Jackson the person was wholly overshadowed. I can only imagine that the more famous his got the greater sense of isolation he felt.

It was also apparent that people always wanted a part of MJ, whether it was to be close to him, garner fame off him, wanting any snippets of information that could create more gossip and rumours surrounding the enigma that evolved or the greed of wanting to make money off of his back. This vulture like obsession with Michael Jackson, from the public, the press and his associates, has always been something that makes me uncomfortable. And it hasn't been until this trial that the extent of the damage it did to Michael Jackson's mental and subsequent physical health has been revealed. And it is truly shocking and wholly upsetting. The fact that Michael Jackson the persona was loved by millions around the world yet Michael Jackson the man was emotionally neglected by the people around him truly hurts my heart. 

I strongly believe 'This Is It' should never have even been happening. Michael was in a lot worse state than anyone could imagine. We all knew he was a drug addict but not to this degree. I think it would have been very hard for him to complete the tour and that what has come to light so far shows that no one was looking out for his best interests. 

It is such a sad state of affairs. My heart really breaks for him. He was a good guy and did not deserve to have his problems ignored and fuelled so other people could make money.

I just feel really sad that Michael Jackson left this life in that sort of state.

The only thing we can hope is that Michael is now at peace. And I hope once a verdict is reached then the press and public can remember MJ for the inspiration he is and will forever continue to be. Maybe he will finally be able to rest and the soul of Michael Jackson the person will finally be released. 

Sophie Dewing (@sophiedewing)http://exploredreamdiscoverblog.blogspot.com/

Never Can Say Goodbye

Today is the second anniversary of the passing of The King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Even though it is two years gone this day will always evoke the emotions of that time. A bizarre mix of sadness and elation. Sad for the loss of someone so inspirational and magical, and sad that the figure who seemed to have an air of sadness and who never found true happiness. And elation at the unity, the joy, the music, the dance, the altruism and the sense of hope that he brought to people. 

But I never feel words give justice to what I want to be able to say about Michael Jackson. For me Michael Jackson was, and still is, the soundtrack to my life. Anyone born in the 1980's will surely share this sentiment. It was the height of Jackson mania. Every child of that time idolised and wanted to be Michael Jackson. School disco's were all who could most dance like Michael Jackson. Every song, lyric and music video were memorised. He was the standard. He made people dream big. He made you believe anything was possible.

When I think back to that time it makes me smile. I loved my childhood and Michael Jackson was a big part of that. To be a part of that sense of knowing that you were seeing something extraordinary and world changing is unlike anything else. And when I listen to Michael Jackson or watch videos of him performing I still get that childhood feeling of wonderment and delight. To this day when I hear the first beat of 'Billie Jean' I still get excited! And this is a song I have been listening to my whole life!

And that is just some of the reasons why I love Michael Jackson. He ability to inspire and delight, the genius of his music and dance - he really was the physical embodiment of the rhythm and beat. But to me Michael was more than just the world's best entertainer. A huge part of why I love Michael is his altruism and nature. No matter what was said about him or what he was put through he always responded was grace and dignity. He seemed grounded and truly had love and care for the plight of others. He spoke passionately about important issues and really did seek to spread love. Seeing how Michael Jackson was influenced my own life. It made me be aware and want to seek what is going on in the rest of the world. It then made me get involved in charity work, campaigning and activism. He reminds me to be a better person, to dream big, care for others and to spread love and joy whenever I can.

I was reading through some quotes people made when they heard the news of Michael's passing. It is incredible to see the unity Michael brought to people even in their react to the news. There was an article that I really think captured the emotions of people who grew up with Michael Jackson. You can read it here. There are some sections of the article that I really relate to.

'There was a strange feeling that took my body completely hostage when I heard those words. It's a year later and I still can't describe that feeling. The thought of Michael Joseph Jackson not being alive is completely implausible...But one thing remains consistent from generation to generation; we aren't supposed to live in a world without Michael Jackson.'

Those words really stuck a chord. I think it was evident that the world was in shock. This almost mythical figure was dead? It was almost incomprehensible.

Here are a selection of quote by celebrities that resonate with me.

"Michael Jackson went into orbit and never came down. Though it ended way too soon, Michael's life was beautiful. Sure there was some sad times and maybe some questionable decisions on his part, but Michael Jackson accomplished everything he dreamed of. The more I think about Michael and talk about Michael the more I think that 'King of Pop' is not good enough. I think he is simply the greatest entertainer that ever lived." -Berry Gordy

"Michael Jackson lit the fuse that ignited the spirit of dance in us all. He gave us a song and a sweet melody that will never die. Now we all carry his legacy with joy and pride." - MC Hammer

"There is no one in the world like MJ. Never has been. Never will be. We all know him in one way or another. In some way he has touched us, been the voice of one of our sweetest memories. And what a wonderful, genuine, compassionate, soft-spoken giant so full of love. He gave us love, excitement, one-of-a-kind moments in a mundane world. I can't believe he won't be with us here on earth anymore. But long from now, when we are all dust, he will still never be forgotten. To the best that ever did it! You are loved, admired and respected forever." -Alicia Keys

"Michael Jackson showed me that you can actually see the beat. He made the music come to life. He made me believe in magic." -P Diddy

You can see the legacy of Michael Jackson through other performers in the music industry. There are three performances that really touch me, because you can see how how much genuine emotion is running through the performers. The first is Beyonce, who all throughout her 'I Am...' tour paid tribute to Michael. The second is Stevie Wonder, another musical legend, who speaks of his friendship and love of Michael. Stevie's performance at Michael Jackson's memorial was also very beautiful and moving. And the third is Janet Jackson's tribute at the 2009 VMA's. Combine the world's best choreographers who either worked with or were influenced by Michael and Michael's sister Janet and you get an explosive performance! A fitting tribute.

Earlier this year I wrote a blog in response to an article 'Michael Jackson & Proper Emotions'. In it I tried to give a sense what Michael Jackson meant to me. I can not full articulate exactly how The King of Pop has influenced and impacted my life but below is a section which touches the surface.

'I personal felt, and still feel to some degree, what can be defined as grief over the passing of Michael Jackson. I was not a 'superfan' I just loved MJ's music and moves. I never had any merchandise, never read any articles, never followed what he was doing professionally or personally unless a single or album was out. But Michael Jackson was a constant throughout my life. My household was never musical, the radio never played, but the only albums we ever played in the household was Michael Jackson. Lest we forget that Jackson's career started when my mother was a girl watching The Jackson 5 with my grandmother.

In my childhood everyone wanted to be Michael Jackson. There was a magical quality to this man who's talents knew no abounds. Just when you thought you had seen it all MJ would pull something new and sensational out the bag. He was still thrilling people in the This Is It rehearsals, until the few hours before his death. In my primary school dances the highlight was always when Michael Jackson would come on and the whole school stopped to surround a boy named Freedom as we watched as he performed the entrancing and magical movements of Michael Jackson.

I will admit in the years after the 'History' album I lost interest somewhat. I didn't follow was was going on. This changed once I heard in 2008 that at some point Michael Jackson would be doing a residency at the O2. I knew I would do anything to get to see what would be the greatest show on earth by the best performer in the world. That inner child wanted it's childhood fantasy accomplished. I knew I would be dazzled and the thought of the atmosphere in that arena with 20,000 watching Jackson perform is still enough to give me goosebumps. Alas this was never to be.

On hearing of MJ's passing the first few days I was filled with a sense of wonderment of just what an incredible impact he had had on people. On 26th June 2009 every single shop, car and headphone was blasting out Jackson classics. It was such a great emotion to know we were all celebrating a life that we had received such pleasure and entertainment from.

In the few weeks afterward was when I started to feel grief. Grief for the loss of great talent. Sadness for a man that never really got to feel true happiness and satisfaction. A man who seemed to have it all but still carried an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness about him. Heartache for his children, far to young to lose their only parent. And a sadness for the loss of my childhood.

To me Michael Jackson is much more than a great singer and performer. He was the best. He is what everyone strives to be. He made songs that touched the soul, his moves defied logic and caused that childlike feeling of excitement of when we see something magical, his humanitarian work and altruism is inspirational and reminds me that I am not what life is all about - to look outside myself, help others and remember L.O.V.E. He overcame adversity again and again. He is the prime example of an underdog, a figure that people always stand behind. He conducted himself with grace and dignity no matter what was thrown at him. And most importantly he brought people together. He broke down barriers not just in music and dance but in society, in race relations, in environmental issues. He taught me how to be a better person. He was the last fantastical figure of my childhood that remained, unlike santa or faeries who disappeared long ago, and now that image was shattered as I realised he wasn't invincible, he was flesh and blood like the rest of us and ultimately perishable. And that is why I grieve for Michael Jackson. '

“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.” 

And although today will be sad it is also a day to celebrate the life and genius of Michael Jackson. There still is no other artist that unites people as much as MJ. Throw on 'Don't Stop Til You Get Enough' and everyone will be on their feet! I went to see Thriller Live two days ago and usually the audience are told to get up and dance during certain parts of the show. But at this performance the audience didn't need telling! From halfway though the second half everyone was up on their feet dancing and singing along! It was an amazing atmosphere and it really touched me just how much love there is for Michael Jackson. 

Not only was he the most incredible musician, dancer and entertainer he was also a philanthropist and humanitarian and this is the reason I have so much love and respect for this man. He reminded to people to look outside yourself and care for others, and that really had an impact on me and how I live my life today. 

So although there are times that will be sad I feel it is most important to celebrate! Celebrate the joyous music and the glorious dance! Celebrate the heightened awareness of issues and love that Michael spread! Celebrate the unity he brought to people! 

For all the times we forgot to say it, for all the times we took you for granted, for all the love you put out, I want to say thank you. Thank you for everything you did and the happiness you continue to evoke.  We love you Michael!

Now bust a move and give me a heehee!

“And my goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive: the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance.”

Day 5 - Living Below The Line

Now I have completed the Live Below The Line challenge it has made me realise just how important food is for well being - both physically and mentally, health, concentration, mood, energy levels, enjoyment of life.

I found it hard as in the developed world food is more than subsistence, it is a social and celebratory tool. In the UK as we celebrate the royal wedding people up and down the country are having street parties, friends around or just time with family to celebrate. And food will be a big part of this. To know that I can not engage in this celebratory event in the same way that everyone else is was very hard.

It has made me want to no longer eat unless I am hungry. To try and have more control over portions and what foods I buy. To really think about waste and only buy what is necessary. These seem like standard things that people do anyways but I know I certainly did not live like this before, and I am sure many of us are the same.

I am lucky that after the tough last days of the challenge I can now go back to eating a more balanced, healthy diet. For 1.4 billion people they will continue to face the challenges I did but they have no option but to continue with this existence. All of the issues I faced would only become worse the longer I continued and for so many people this is their daily life.

And lest we forget that for 800 million people they will go hungry today as they will not even have three meals a day I have had, if they have any food at all.

I find it quite astonishing that people are still starving to death in the 21st century. There is enough food to feed everyone in the world and we must start fighting harder to ensure that everyone does receive the nutrition they need. The mental and physical affects I have felt by undertaking this short challenge have shocked me, especially just how quickly they settle in.

Everyone has the right to live a happy life. Food is at the core of this. If you don't eat there is a chance you will die. But aside from that if you don't have energy or concentration then you can't learn at school or do well at work. If you don't have an education you have little chance to work your way out of poverty. You are more likely to be ill. If you are lucky enough to have access to treatment most medicines do not work, or make you extremely ill, if you do not take them with food. The knock on effect of food really is life changing.

I am most surprised that I have been able to live off of £1 a day in the UK and still have a surplus of food left. It is incredible! But if this is possible for me to achieve imagine how far £1 can go in the developing world. Whenever you have the opportunity please donate whatever you can. As I have learned even £1 can totally change someones life.

Until next time, much happiness.

Day 4 - Living Below The Line

Yesterday was day 4 of the Live Below The Line challenge. It was the toughest day so far I would say. Although during the day I was OK the evening was very tough.

I found yesterday I had a lot of problems concentrating and could not focus. I would often forget what I was doing. This is the day that really made me realise just how your body and brain can not function without a proper diet. Although I have been able to eat three meals a day, (and actually I think I will have a surplus of food by the end of the challenge. Who would have thought?) the foods I have been consuming are filling, but not great for functioning.

Also by the late afternoon I have the lowest amount of energy I have had in such a long time. I was worried that on the 4th day would be tough as I had a huge amount of energy on the 3rd day and went to dance class, and I was sure on the 4th day I would crash. It seems that came true. Walking home after work I was not sure how I would never make it. I was walking very slowly and was feeling exhausted. By the time I got home I just wanted to sleep. By 9pm I was.

I am now totally bored of eating the same food each day. It becomes a chore and you feel like not eating. It is mentally tough to know that each day will be the same bland food which stops you feeling hungry but it builds a mental barrier that you have to work through. I have totally taken for granted how luck we are to have variety and the ability to enjoy food.

The routine, the blandness and the lack of energy really make you feel down. You can't be bothered to face the next day as you know everything will be the same. It is quite amazing how quickly you get into this mindset. I can not even imagine how people must feel when they feel like this everyday, with no end in sight. When you see images of children who are starving the one thing you notice is the deadness in their eyes. The lack of hope. These are children. Children in the UK's eyes are filled with wonderment, excitement and joy. This is what children should look like. To see that sadness in a child's eyes in heartbreaking. To know at such a young age they have given up hope, this is something that should never happen. Especially over such vital and essential elements of life like food and water.

I am very lucky that my challenge is almost over but I think what I have learned will stay with me forever.

Until next time, much love.

Day 3 - Live Below The Line

Today I am feeling full of energy and really positive! My general wellbeing and health seem to be really good today. This experience as well as being eyeopening and humbling it is also having a lot of positive affects and making me appreciate my body and how I use food. I am finding that eating less food is making me more energetic. It has shown me just how sluggish you feel if you never allow yourself to feel hungry.

I am now feeling the benefits of being aware of what you eat and have more energy that I have had in ages. I think I will definitely try and implement what I have learned on this challenge and apply it to my diet when I finish this.

I think after watching videos last night it reminded me why I am doing this and also it isn't that hard for me as I am still eating 3 meals a day and have budgeted snacks in also. This is what I would call a normal amount of food and I think it is good to go back to that! Instead of snacking all the time.

I am still amazed that I am managing to eat 3 meals and snacks on £1 a day! It is crazy. But it also shows the power of brands and advertising. I think I will totally revamp my shopping list from now on! Of course there is not much variety, and I would love to eat my vegetables and drink fruit juices again, but I think before I was totally overspending by huge amounts. I will also be only buying for that is necessary and not getting things just in case. I think it will make a big impact on my diet, health, wellbeing and importantly wallet!

I was worried about my energy level in dance class today but in fact it was great and I felt completely normal. In fact today was a really great class! I am feeling quite tired now but have been impressed at just how upbeat and energetic I have felt today.

I am worried that tomorrow I will crash a bit and it will be a hard day again. I am also aware that I am starting to run low on my resources. So lets see how the final two days go!

Last night I watched a video of Nelson Mandela. The words he spoke really stuck me and were so inspirational. He stated that we have the ability to be a 'great generation'. Do we want to be remembered as a generation of the Internet, social networking and binge drinking? Or do we want to be remembered as the generation who help eradicate poverty? Ensure equality for all and global access to food, water and medicine?

We can be that 'great generation'. Every journey starts with a step and by reading this blog you have already started that journey. You have raised awareness. And maybe you may pass on some information to people you know, add a link to your Facebook page or send video links to your friends. Spreading awareness is the first step. Then together we can unite to tell our world leaders we want fairness to all. We can be the voice for our global neighbours who do not.

Until next time, much happiness.

Sophie

Day 2 - Live Below The Line

I am now into my second day living below the line. It was tougher than the first day, as I thought, but I have been impressed at how I am not feeling as hungry as I thought I might. I have been hungry between meals and can't wait til it is time to eat again! But I thought I would become totally preoccupied with clock watching and seeing how much longer I could wait before I ate my next meal.

The thing I am finding hardest is only drinking water. I usually drink fruit juices, squashes, hot drinks and water in a day. I find water quite boring to drink and I am finding myself reminding myself I have to keep myself hydrates, whereas usually I drink like a fish throughout the day! I have started to crave things like a coke, when I don't even drink carbonated drinks usually! I think it is just wanting to have a liquid with flavour that is doing it!

I have noticed how today I have felt quite tired and found it hard to concentrate. At work I was getting through my work but at a slower pace and I found myself drifting off into space often. I think it shows just how vital food is and the energy it gives you. That is why there are so many good projects out there than ensure that particularly children get at least one meal a day. Research has shown that educating a child who hasn't eaten means they are unlikely to learn anything. This is why it is vital children are fed, and many school projects in countries like Africa ensure children receive breakfast at school, which not only stops them from starving but also improves their concentration, which leads to their education and the foundations of being able to try and have a successful future - one hopefully without poverty.

I think today I have learned that it is OK to feel hungry. Usually whenever we even feel a bit peckish we reach for something to fill the gap so we often never know what it feels like to be hungry. Although it is mentally tough to overcome the hunger barrier I am glad I am experiencing this, as even though I am living below the poverty line I am still eating three meals a day. Something that many people do not achieve.

Whenever I find this challenge a bit tough I remind myself of just why I am doing it.  Below is a video about extreme poverty and hunger and why challenges like Live Below The Line exist. This video also touches upon the Millennium Development Goals, a set of 8 goals agree by over 180 countries in the world to help tackle some of the worlds biggest issues.

I will warn you the video contains shocking images. But it is important to see just what happens in the world every single day.

800 million people will go hungry today.
8 million people will die this year from starvation. That is the equivalent of the population of London.
Every 3.6 seconds a person dies from starvation.

It is abhorrent that people are forced to exist like this in the world in the 21st century. This is why it is so important to raise awareness of issues that we as people in the democratic free world have a chance to make global leaders listen, to assist and to help ensure the Millennium Development Goals are achieved. Throwing money at a problem is not the answer. But equality and the chance for people to better themselves is. It is a human right to be able to live in a humane way and it is a human obligation to help those who are currently not.

We have the privilege and freedom to voice our opinions and make ourselves heard. It is vital that we do not neglect this and help give a voice for the billions of people that do not have a voice.

This challenge proves just how far £1 can go. Please donate whenever you can, what you can. Be it money, time or even through raising awareness.

Until next time, much love.

Sophie